No Better Time

Today I got up and continued on the mission I began on Monday. I wanted to make some minimal changes that would have a major impact on myself as an individual. The first change was to get rid of the coffee with flavored creamer in it addiction. The second change was to be more positive about my physical fitness efforts and recognize improvements.

In stepped Miracle T once again. She decided she wanted to do a paleo challenge and have her friend's support. Well now it's turned into a little friendly competition amongst many of the ladies of Crossfit Grover Beach. This has made my desire to keep up the changes I decided to make even stronger.

Two days ago I received another invitation for a holiday maintain not gain fitness challenge where my friend and her husband set some noble fitness benchmarks they'd like to achieve. I've made a decision to match it. This will be in addition to my mtn. biking, running and crossfit. My mom says this sounds like a little extremism and I have to agree, but it's how I have fun outside of work.

Two years ago I gained that oh so stereotypical ten holiday pounds that the average American gains then discovered Crossfit and worked to lose it only to have some of it return when I got derailed for my minor back injury. I then found another Crossfit box and lost the weight again, but somehow I let life events dictate my choices and I got off the great path I was on early this year so those sneaky little pounds have decided to make a cameo once again. I think I hit them with a vengeance this week. My scale says so and my fitness app has been busy. I asked my friend to tell those pounds to stay lost if they show up on a milk carton and she promised not to call a search party. Uh oh she's also part of my competition now and she's just as driven as me if not more so. Sara has been an amazing friend and confidant this entire year that I've known her and she was the individual that encouraged me to begin crossfit again. She along with T has put a lot of time into making this challenge a possibility. I'm very grateful to each of them. I will be accountable for all my eating, sleeping and fitness habits and will have an amazing support network all along the way.

I will be honest today was a very challenging day for me. I began with a trip to the grocery store for breakfast and then walked over to the crossfit box. I wanted to do the workout twice today, but did it once and decided that was enough. I had to deal with a life situation that I would have preferred not to, but am determined to get through it regardless of the outcome. While I was faced with that challenge my favorite ultrarunner friend said he was having trouble getting motivated to run in the rain. I thought a run would be just the thing to boost my attitude and it did. It was a short run but my friend made me push myself on the hills and when my legs said no on the last mile and he asked me if my legs were dead and I replied yes it encouraged me to keep going. I finished and looked at the results and saw I didn't improve much on my pace, but of course my friend had kind positive words to say.

I went to Em's house after my run and had tea and talked and she offered me wonderful advice and encouragement and her sister had decorated their home for Christmas just beautifully.

I came home and had a dear friend send a message with exactly the words I needed to hear. There are no coincidences!!! I wasn't seeking validation, but I needed it and that message was so timely.

I have a box of quote cards my mom found at a yard sale and sent me. I'm not sure who sold them, but thank you for the gift. The one in my windowsill right now could not pertain to me at a better time than now.

Because we move in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts, it is imperative to control and manage them in the direction of those goals which are our highest priority.~Dennis E. Waitley

A muddy fun time

Yesterday I got to participate in my favorite event. Mud mash at Laguna Lake. I had a goal to complete the course in under an hour and to get over the 6 foot wall that always gives me grief. I got over the 6 foot wall and all it gave me was a really purple and blue bruise. I even got half way across the monkey bars which I couldn't do at mudmashx in May. I completed the course in an hour and five minutes and I had an excellent time.

I was blessed this week with a slight schedule adjustment that I've wanted for 8 months now. That's going to allow me to get my running back on track because I will not be stressed with the small window of time I had to run before work two mornings each week.

I don't know how it's happened or if I've changed anything really, but I'm noticing gainful improvements and that means a lot to me!

Time to Lose Deceit

That lie you tell yourself over and over again until finally you no longer realize it isn't truth. This deceit clouds your judgment, causes insecurities, limits your true potential, burdens friendships, builds trust issues and the list goes on.

There are also lies others tell you that regardless of how far fetched or unkind they are you take them to heart.

I once was told I wasn't skinny or athletic enough. I believe I took it to heart so strongly that I've tried proving it wrong ever since.

I had a random thought just over a week ago and I shared it with a friend. I told her how I know that none of us would tolerate abuse from anyone else so why do we abuse ourselves. We believe our own lies, eat things we know are not conducive to achieving our goals, we make excuses for poor behavior and the abuse continues. I decided it was time I start being kinder to myself and lose the deceit. I like the phrase it starts with a decision. The decision I made was to stop being abusive to myself both physically and emotionally.

Here is where my lie comes into play. I began running about 4 years ago. I've completed a half marathon, numerous mud runs including an extreme mud run. I've done trail runs and set up a three day a week running schedule that I have followed with inconsistencies for 7 months. I've never run a sub ten minute mile so I just let myself believe i was the slow runner.

Thursday night my drinking club with a running problem had an alternative plan that involved very little running. I decided to leave and that I would drive to my favorite trail head and do a time trial. I nearly talked myself out of going, but my car knows that exit means fun and I think the steering wheel turned that direction. I put in my ear phones turned on my running program and began my run. I felt great it was getting dark and the temperature was perfect. I got to my one mile mark and the little voice on the program said,"8 minutes 57 seconds." I paused the program and stopped and thought to myself wow you just did something you didn't think you could. I took a little break to practice pullups on the bar on the trail. I can do those now too only a couple in a row, but I know I'll improve with continued practice. I did some pushup sets and decided to see if I could do a repeat performance of that under 9 minute mile run. I completed the next mile in 9 minutes and 5 seconds. My run yesterday was longer and back to my slower pace, but I'm content.

I'm on day 10 from the time I started my decision. I had one small setback on a bike ride a week ago when I let my feeling of inadequacy get the best of me, but all in all I feel great my weight and health and overall fitness level is improving. I only noticed this because I was able to clean and jerk the prescribed weight of 115 pounds during a crossfit WOD on Friday that was a first for me.

I'm curious to see what heights I will challenge myself to achieve this week!

Time to Overcome Discouragement

I called the ER and they informed me it would be another charge for the visit to remove my stitches. My friend told me she could help me, but I was impatient and determined to do it myself. A week has passed since I removed my own stitches.

The day after stitch removal I was back on my bike going up Stagecoach road
with my sidekick Aussie/Labrador MJ just like we do each Monday afternoon. That ride is my therapy after the long 48 hour weekend shift at work. MJ makes me laugh hysterically every time he launches himself over the metal cattle grate. I only did a short ride no falls, no knee trouble.

I went to crossfit wearing my shorts and tall socks with duck tape on my knee and double unders were on the WOD. I've finally after months and months kind of learned the trick to them and I shocked myself completing 11 in a row. We did box step ups that challenged me because I had to use my left leg every time to step up. My legs were sore the next two days. I also did another bike ride after and had a great time and climbed trail that I usually choose to descend.

Thursday I went for a morning bike ride, an afternoon jog/hike where a helicopter flew over my head at the top of the mountain. I finished my day with an evening bike ride.

My evening bike ride was on lemon grove with a new friend.
I climbed the first section well and I thought I was just going to do a quick ride very short loop, but my riding partner took me on the longer portion of the trail. He was great! He was patient, opened a gate for me, told me how itchy the yellow jacket sting would be the next day (yes first sting ever). He told me to follow his lead which helped me successfully accomplish a climb until I got stuck and had to hop off and hike my bike for a minute. I cleaned a downhill section even though I was extremely nervous. It was a section I've ridden in the past, but my confidence level got rocked from the fall I recently took that ended in the stitched knee. I learned it was time I overcome the discouragement. We started running out of daylight and my partner asked which way I wanted to go then quickly informed me he was making an executive decision to take the quick way down. The quick way isn't hard, but it's rocky and intimidating with very little daylight. Well much to my surprise I finally learned why people tell me my 29er rolls over everything. I had a really great time it was probably my favorite ride all week. I almost left out the best part...my riding partner showed me a side trail that was an option if I wanted to skip the hill where I knew I'd have to hike my bike. I take the trail option and the easier hill to ride at the end of it. The best part of this side trail is when my riding partner tells me he spent his time clearing the poison oak and improving the trail. I asked him if he did the entire trail that I rode. He did it on his own, expecting nothing in return and he did it because he couldn't ride while he's been healing from a hand surgery. Yes he earned major brownie points! Anyone that would voluntarily remove poison oak is a saint in my book!

Sometimes Setbacks Occur

I've put up a pretty good front trying to stay positive through this setback that occurred.

Thursday I was dealing with being tired of "taking it easy." I finished putting ice on my knee and I went to a friend's house to make dinner for he and his extended family. I was later told his family would not eat what I was fixing and his sister ended up making a second dinner for her family. This left me discouraged and deflated. I try not to expect much. I wanted to do a kind thing that left me feeling completely unwelcome and unappreciated, but I was determined not to let the situation get the best of me. I left just as soon as was appropriate and went to meet one of my mtn. biking friends at bike night.

I decided to take my bike out of my car to see if I could ride it. The rear tire was flat again. My friend helped me pump it up. This is my same friend who helped me fix the flat the last time and same tire tube he helped me replace. My knee cooperated despite the stitches in it. It was slightly uncomfortable but the range of motion improved.

Friday morning I decided to try to crossfit. Fran was on the WOD and I was excited to try it. I modified my depth of the squat and was ten pounds shy of the RX weight. I also chose to use a band for the pull-ups. Pull-ups are the most discouraging skill for me, but they also push me to go outside my comfort zone and try harder. I once stated at crossfit,"I will own those pull-ups!"

In comes my setback. I had decided to begin training for my first off-road triathlon and not tell anyone. I was doing two and sometimes 3 workouts a day on my days off. I started doing longer bike rides meeting great new people to ride with. I ran with my friend who's a seasoned ultra-runner. I was continuing crossfit and I was enjoying pushing myself.

I've had to admit to myself that this setback usurped some of my positive attitude. This week I'm going to attempt to get back on my previous schedule. It will be scaled, but I want to try to make the most of it and I know I'm going to need a lot of encouragement and to hold myself accountable.

Distraction Time

Today I returned to the ER for my suture check. No sign of infection and I was encouraged to practice more range of motion each day. I also got cleared to return to work. I wasn't cleared for physical activities, but I wasn't given any specifics other than to keep the stitches in as long as possible to prevent another tear in the future. I'll use my discretion here which means I will drive myself crazy trying to continue to take it easy.

I went to a movie with my friend Kevin after my ER visit. It was a movie with a lot of biking skill involved and a good story line. Kevin told me he ran the trail today where I had fallen and it was in horrible condition and there are future improvement plans in the works. This made me feel better.

I walked to habitat and smelled my favorite candles from comfort candle company and saw a gorgeous glass ball with two holes in it and succulents placed inside. I loved it and thought it was so brilliantly beautiful.

I came home and sewed another baby blanket with more of the butterfly material I received from my mom over a year ago. I often wonder if I'll ever finish using all of it.

I walked over to crossfit and paid my monthly dues so I'm committed to my knee's healing process and my fitness. I attempted to jump rope and did some pull-up practice.

I came home and made a little stir fry and used little spinach leaves and made mini wraps that turned out very delicious.

I had a good time today and found that distractions can be healthy.

Time to be Patient

Today is day one after getting stitches in my knee.

My morning was okay I did my regular Monday morning housekeeping job.

I made my guacamole with red pepper strips in a watermelon to take to some friends moving away picnic.

I met a new friend for a very short hike. While I know this may not be well advised I needed to know how limited I was. I got my answer I limped the entire time with my leg straight. My knee isn't bending very far.

I came home and wanted my pajamas on. Just getting my tall socks off was a challenge. I assessed my knee and saw how swollen it was and I just broke down in tears. I also realized I don't like pain and I wanted an extra strength ibuprofen. I rarely take anything other than my multivitamin and fish oil. I also realized that I needed to eat, but didn't want to strain to walk anymore and dinner would require a trip to the grocery store.

In steps my little miracle friend. I call her T. T doesn't know I think of her as my miracle friend. I met T at crossfit and later saw her at a mud run and she had this fun pink and blonde hair and she was adorable. I didn't start getting to know her better until a few months ago when I went on a bike ride with her. I was amazed everything came so easy to her. I had my first flat tire that day. I call her my miracle friend because she always pulls off these little miracles. Knowing I need a text to laugh or inspiration and my phone lights up or I see something on Facebook from her. Well tonight she continued her tradition. I asked her how she got through her emergency appendectomy recovery which led to a series of texts and then she asks if I want chicken and dumplings. My body says absolutely, but my weakness is accepting kindnesses. Especially when it's the second one she's performed of the day. Yes she gave me her ninja blender and food processor. Teresa brought me yummy chicken and dumplings, but it's no ordinary meal it's paleo and all pretty in a glass bowl with the beautifully brown crusted dumpling right on top and it's just the right temperature and I'm no longer worried about the ibuprofen I took minutes earlier on an empty stomach.
T tells me I need to be better about asking for help and she's right. She says no one minds and I believe her.

Well I left my phone charger at work. I do everything on my phone. Email my mom, research, text, map my exercise. I have a phone charger for the car and Its interesting to think I've become so dependent on an inadament object, nonetheless I have.

My friend I met recently and showed some new biking trails a couple weeks ago lives close by and has an iPhone so I asked if he might have one to spare me. Of course he says yes he's on his way. He had asked me to let him know if I needed anything and well I guess I am improving on asking for help.

The important thing I like to bare in mind is that although I feel most of us as humans like to feel needed and are happy to fulfill our loved ones requests for help, I like to remember to not set expectations and no one ever owes me anything.