Time for Gratitude

It was Sunday morning and I was really looking forward to fun with my friend Ishwar and the group of friends he invited to join for a run while he was in town visiting. It was to be a casual Sunday morning run/hike with friends. I was excited Annie came as I learned she had just finished running a trail marathon the day prior. Her husband Nate had talked about sleeping in the evening before when we were all at dinner. The last time I got to see Annie and Nate was a month earlier in Utah when i was volunteering at Wasatch 100 70 mile aid station and Nate was participating in the race. Larry came too and I had not seen him in a long time. We had already done the hike up and were making our descent. This next photo of Ishwar and I is moments before I fell.

I maybe was talking (of course I was talking) and the next thing I knew my right foot slipped and I was falling forward off the trail smashing my head against a rock and just tumbling and tumbling down what I thought was a hillside not knowing if or when I would stop. It all happened way too fast and I kept my eyes closed just thinking to myself I have to be okay. When I came to a stop I was face down with my head looking up at the trail. I knew I was hurt but couldn’t assess how bad. I heard Ishwar ask if he should call 911 and I was so mad I needed to say yes. I knew a fall and head injury was going to create a rapid trauma response from dispatch. For those who may not be familiar with my background I was a former civilian employee with Santa Barbara Sheriff Department working in the jail and it wasn’t uncommon for me to escort emergency medical personnel into the jail. I later pursued a certification as an EMT and did elderly care and endurance event volunteer work with that certification in California. I didn’t keep my certification current but when I came to Colorado I joined a local urban search and rescue unit and took an EMT refresher course. I knew that a command and response team was going to be dispatched to me and all the questions they were going to ask. I asked my friend to put their phone on speaker where I relayed to the dispatcher that I was a and o times 4 and I didn’t want the ambulance emergent because I could already hear sirens. I later learned it was relayed i was arguing with the dispatcher. I asked my friend Nate who had made his way down to me if he could hand me my buff that had fallen off my head because I knew my head was bleeding and I wanted to apply pressure. I was asked not to move but I wanted to be off that hillside so bad I told Nate I just needed to move. Yep thats me not listening to anybody, climbing back up to sit on the trail and wait for help.

My friends all created a plan. Larry, Annie and Chaco (annie and nates sweetest dog) would go up the trail to meet the first responders and rescuers.

I saw a Ranger was the first one to me and I knew from a recent social media post all the training he went through for his job and I knew I was relieved. His name is also Nate. He sees me and the first thing I tell him is I am a and o times 4. He asks me questions to verify that. I tell him person place time and event. I say my name, that I’m at Gregory Canyon its Sunday October 20 in the morning and I was going down the trail when I slipped and went ass over tea kettle down the hill. I say my head and neck hurt and he does a physical assessment palpating my spine and then relaying a message to command about my status. He asks if I know my neck collar size but it’s been way too long since I practiced that in class. We decided its a short. My friend Larry helped him place the collar on my neck while I continued to hold pressure on my head and face.

Nate asked if he could take some vitals and I guessed my blood pressure was 117/88 when he took it I was really close with my guess and thankful considering my state it wasn’t lower or higher. Please tell me how I am smiling in that neck collar someone must have said something funny. Ishwar is taking a picture and smiling too. Thank goodness no one lost their sense of humor I needed the comic relief. Lets be honest I was shivering, nauseous, in shock and very scared of what was in store.

The rescue team made their way to me. I asked if I could transfer myself into the rescue device. They said I could I then asked if it was a stokes or a litter. The answer was both. They explained that I would be secured in and carried then transferred onto a wheel device to bring me out. I asked if AMR was transporting me and if I could go to BCH. I knew BCH was a level II trauma center and could help if anything was serious. I frequently do blood draws at my work for patients of bch.

In the following picture my head has been wrapped by Nate with a pressure dressing and seen is individuals from Boulder Fire and Rescue and SAR unit Rocky Mountain Rescue.

Pictured below they have prepared me for lift and carry out.

I was later told by Annie that there were so many different units and responders there. I told Rocky Mountain Rescue personnel how I had been on the fence about wanting to join them. Suffice to say I am no longer on the fence, but I will need some recovery time before I submit that application. Jenny from rmr was really sweet when I asked her what kind of gift cards they like. Her response was exactly what you would hear me say,”I appreciate the thought, but we’re volunteers no thanks needed.”

Quinlan the paramedic from AMR was great and her partner did a great job starting my iv. She asked me questions they took vital signs and we drove down flagstaff road to the hospital. Quinlan and I talked about her work and what I do and she tried to get me to relax my arms.

Quinlan did a great job relaying my info to the ER team. 

Matt was the first ER staff I would meet he is an RN and he was not only really funny, but really compassionate. His first line was,”so you took a header?” I replied that was good and I would pardon the pun. He helped me get nausea and pain meds and then I met the doctor who relayed instructions to the emt to help clean out my head would really well with saline. Selina the emt did such an awesome job. The following picture is before any wound care.

The doctor began to numb up my head and face and it hurt so much I had to fight to keep focusing on my breathing through it. The doctor began stitching and I asked what he liked to do outside of work and he began telling me about mountain biking and Leadville. I have a theory that people are placed in our path when they are supposed to be. I believe that doctor was 100% supposed to be available for me Sunday afternoon. I thanked him for distracting me. He had to step away to attend to another patient but would return to finish my stitches and locate another gash in my scalp that got stapled.

I had to leave the neck collar on and get wheeled down the hall to get a cat scan. I would be told I had a stable fracture of my c3 in my neck and would be going home with a neck brace to wear with instructions to follow up with a neurologist.

My friend Vanessa came to the er room where I was and checked out my owies and gave me a ride home

Sunday afternoon I went home and cried and tried to sleep with the neck brace on. I just kept praying I wouldn’t need it.

On Tuesday I met with the neurologist who assessed my neck and range of motion and said I could have the collar off as long as I promised to walk down to radiology for xrays that he will follow up with me on in a few weeks. 

Today I took a walk without the collar my neck is kind of sore but I am okay.

I’m so grateful for every rescuer, responder,  friend and family that has reached out. It is humbling and overwhelming and I don’t take for granted how fortunate I am this wasn’t any worse.

SISU 24

I learned about this run by volunteering one year when I arrived at 1:00 am after driving 4 hours after leaving a friend’s Christmas party. A bear would greet me at the gate and I waited for the bear to move until I drove through. 

I enjoyed volunteering so much that I decided I wanted to participate the following year.

The basis of the event is: there are 5 trails and some challenges associated with each trail. Some challenges have a window of time in which they can be completed. Each trail has a particular distance and point value. My first year participating I thought I had a great strategy, but when I went way past the first trail’s checkpoint it lead me to missing challenge points and ultimately to deciding to sleep through the night. 

The following year my objective was to complete all 5 trails and do challenges as they came. That was 2018 and I ended in 4th place because two women tied for 3rd received more challenge points.

2019 the venue location was changed and the event was cancelled a week prior due to fire danger, but the irony in that was a storm of snow blanketed the area we would have been without any way for us to access the area. 2020 that dumb thing Covid decided to rear its ugly head and cause race directors everywhere to try to recover their losses. 2021 saw fire and flood.

2022 the area is still closed and we were guests of camp trask which has graciously helped us throughout the years. The race director, his wife and SISU athletes have been putting in countless hours with mud removal, tree removal and area restoration to try to get it ready for us to get to participate in this event once again.

I flew to Santa Barbara Thanksgiving morning with the intention of spending the holiday with my family I was a nanny for years ago. They went out of town and so I walked 6 miles from the airport to their home and enjoyed the day with my Godson’s dog. 

Friday I went to bed early and got up at 2am to prepare to be on the road by 3:00 am for Saturday’s 8:00 am race start. I had reached out to a running friend who looked at the trail distances and point value and he had great advice (thank you Zac)! Prior to the event he was the only one I had told about my desire I have held since 2018 to try to win the female solo division. 

I started out with the longest trail highest point value that had an additional challenge point attached. I heard the word peak so that where I was going. This has been my strategy in years past, but this time I had a lot more company. I loved the climb to the peak!!! There is a stamp at the end of each trail for accountability but I couldn’t find it so I signed the log book with my sharpie and took a selfie with the flag.

The next thing I decided to do was the pool challenge. I had to jump in the pool and retrieve numbered discs to equal the number 11. I saw a 6,4,1. My friend Tommie who I know from many running events came out to support me. I just in the deep end a grabbbed the number 6 I then swam to the 4 and then the 1 as I reached for the 1 I couldn’t pick it up. I was out of breath and came up for air dropping both the 4 and 1. This meant I either had to quit or jump in again. After warming up a little I heard one of the guys yell,”go.” I jumped in and grabbed the 4 in one hand and 1 in the other. I told myself I needed that challenge and its points because I didn’t think anyone was going to be crazy enough to jump in that freezing water.

I went back to my car to put warm dry clothes back on. I’ve become really quick at car changing from doing my training runs after work getting out of my scrubs in to running clothes.

I went to the fort to tell them where I was going next. I heard Mayra tell them she was going to clam chowder. That made me laugh so much it was called clamshell but I liked her name for it more. I decided to go too. The egg challenge was associated with that trail. In years passed I never went for the egg challenge because all the fast runners went for it. As I was going to ascend the trail I had Mayra and some other runners warn me about the top part of it and ask if I had a headlamp. I made it to the top it was indeed pretty sketchy to get up, but I saw Ted as I was descending and I asked him if the eggs were there. I learned I had run right by them in the residential neighborhood I came through. On my way back I grabbed the egg, wrapped it in my buff and place it safely in my puffy jacket pocket. 

I got back and turned in my egg and headed to mount bliss. It was the trail that Zac said had least distance for points value trail it is 12 miles round trip. This year it was different it went farther and the last 2 miles are super runnable but feel like forever. On my way up a runner was coming down and told me he had seen a mountain lion and thus wanted to go home and he advised me to be careful. I pray for my safety each time I go out on trails but my prayers became earnest at that point. I got to the checkpoint no lion sightings stamped my hand took a picture and ran quick back down so I could participate in midnight yoga because Jonathan who was contributing so much of his time to scoring had offered to lead it. 

When yoga finished I said I was going back to mount bliss. I knew it was going to get me just shy of the 50 mile mark. I feel like I’ve been training for mount bliss on repeat for months as my favorite weekly run has a long fire access road climb with a fast run back down.

As I was nearing the bottom I saw Ted and told him I wasn’t sure I was going back out and my reasoning. Ted told me just stay out. I decided I was going to need the 50 mile bonus points and that I could do the 6 mile trail. I should take Ted’s advice. I told myself I needed to give all I had and that it was a 24 hour event not 21. 

I checked back in and said I was going to deer creek lodge and quickly went to my car to refuel. I am so grateful for Fluid tactical citrus its always helpful when I no longer want food. I was nearing the flag checkpoint and I saw the female who I knew was running such a strong race she had been pushing me and a big reason along with Ted that I went for that last 6 mile trail.

I got back to check in and they told me as soon as the screen updated I would be first place female. I said I really thought Elijiah had more miles. They said I had 10 more points. I went back to my car and changed clothes and came back to see that Ted also won. Daren told each of us that he thought it was cool we both said we wanted to win and we went for it.

Keep setting big goals you might just achieve them!

Time To Change Your Routine

It was May 18, 2020 and I was sitting in an airport lounge wiping away tears from my eyes with a mask covering my face. I had just spent 4 days adventuring in Colorado mountains and spent very little time indoors. I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t have my usual excitement to get back home after a vacation.

Monday evening I returned home and I began seeking jobs in Colorado. I started looking for a place to live in a little town I loved being in while I was visiting. I found a job with a company I’ve liked for a long time. I reached out to a friend and former co-worker who’s wife works for the company in their California headquarters. She asked me to forward her my resume and the position I applied for. 

Tuesday May 19, 2020 I went in to work in the same warehouse I’d been working at when the retail store I had worked at for over 3 years was closed due to covid. I was given an opportunity to do a different task for the fishing division of the company and I was just thankful to be able to work. I walked upstairs and asked my supervisor what I needed to do to give my two weeks notice. She said to send an email with my last date of work and she asked what I was doing. I told her I was making a decision to move to Colorado. I received so much support. This was also the first time I vocalized my plan.

I found a place to rent short term and shortly after received a job offer with the company I’d applied with. The date they wanted me to start was less than 48 hours after my last day of work. I advised them I would be willing to make it happen but that I also had an 18 hour drive so they asked if they could accommodate me with a later start date. Everything was really falling into place.

I finally shared my plan with my friends I had lived with for over 3 years and they wanted to know what the rush was. I told them I liked being in Colorado it’s closer to my family in Utah and I wanted a challenge. I looked at my wheel from the permission granted course I’ve been taking and saw where I had written that I’ve had the same routine for so long it’s stunted my growth.

May 30th I put the last of my belongings in my car and drove to work my last 8 hour shift with Tackle Warehouse. After leaving work I began the drive to my aunt and uncle’s house in southern Utah. My uncle made me breakfast like he always has and then I took a Sunday nap before getting back on the road 4 more hours to my parents house.

I was able to spend a few days with my parents and little brother Ben before I headed to Colorado.

I arrived in Colorado June 3 after a scenic 7 hour drive from Utah. I met the woman I’d be sharing a living space with for a few weeks only to realize her son had been living in the room I’d paid rent on and his cat and litter box were in that room and the whole place smelled terrible. This was going to be my first challenge to grin and bare it. I kept reminding myself it was temporary. The woman was nice enough and she told me about a company I might like working for until my job started in a few weeks. That company put me to work right away stocking grocery store shelves. I enjoyed the feeling of helping others again and being given more work. Because I had stocked a retail store as well as stocking inventory in a warehouse my training was really rapid. It’s a job I can continue to do around my full time job and I am thankful I am able to select my availability. Don’t worry I removed all the expired yogurt.

That was a job for two people each one taking a pallet that I chose to do myself because no one was willing to help. Never be afraid of hard work I’m the only one paying my bills.

I began my virtual job training with my new customer service full time position and within the first couple of days I wasn’t sure how I was going to do being in front of a computer 7.5 hours a day 5 days a week. I got through the first week and at the end of it moved into a great place with a really sweet mom and her toddler son. A new friend I met who loves running even came to help me move a bed a friend had given me since I left mine in California.

I had applied for a job while I was in Utah at my parents house that I thought I could do in addition to my full time job or have as a back up. I told myself I was willing to do whatever it takes for my own personal growth and to enjoy this decision I’d made to come to Colorado. I have met amazing people and been given so many opportunities in a very short period of time. I received a job offer to be a rural postal carrier. I accepted the offer because it provides more long term benefits and I won’t need to be in front of a computer all day. I was able to communicate to the company that had hired me on that I enjoy their company but not sitting in front of a computer. I think the lesson I learned through that is not that I was a failure because I wanted to quit after only a week, but that I was willing to grant myself permission to walk away from what wasn’t serving me. I was grateful I was an at will employee through a temporary agency which allowed me more freedom and flexibility when the postal service asked if I needed to give notice. They had already decided on a route to give me. It isn’t full time but it offers flexibility and I was told I can help in other areas if I’d like more hours. 

I went grocery shopping at the same line of stores where I have my optional job and I said to myself I want to stock at this store because it’s close to my house. A day later I saw a shift open at that store and I was able to claim it. I am really grateful that I have been given all I need.

With all of this life change I have been able to continue to make time to go running both to learn the neighborhood I moved to and also to enjoy time on trails. 

I am thankful I made the decision to find a new routine and seek opportunities for growth.

Time to Grant Myself Permission

The last time I chose to travel was in March 2020. It was for a running race my friend had gifted me for my birthday in 2019. My friend was supposed to join me. When she asked if I still wanted to go my reply was,”if we live our lives in fear, the devil has already won.” Life events not including covid-19 chaos would prevent my friend from traveling with me.

I have been known to contradict myself or fall short of taking my own advice. I have been taking an amazing course called Permission Granted taught by my very incredible former employer Patty Aubery. I have watched my self-growth and mastery improve and have seen avenues and opportunities opened up.

The changes that have been brought about by social distancing guidelines have taught me that I am a people person. I like to share joy and help people. I like connection. My elatement at seeing a familiar face especially co-workers out running the same area I am on any given day makes me give pause to the phrase you don’t know what you have until you don’t have it anymore.

I have become almost too comfortable staying single. I have let the devil win for many years. I’ve tried dating a few times. It’s always ended at the first date. Over a year ago when it didn’t end on a first date I was grateful, but that was short lived when he moved toTexas. 

Earlier this year a friend I had met through a running group I was associated with years ago asked for some support of friends through a difficult choice he wanted to make to improve his life. I jumped at the opportunity to support him. It was a courageous choice he was making which didn’t seem sparked by a catastrophic life event. From time to time I would check in and we would chat via text. 

God always present opportunities if we are patient.

I set fear aside and asked my friend how he would feel about me visiting him in Colorado. His response was enthusiastic and I realized the running event I’ve attended each May since 2014 was postponed and i had a lot of vacation hours to use at work so I booked a flight.

I was picked up at the airport and taken back to my friend’s house. Little jets were doing a flyover as we arrived there. I then learned to play disc golf and laughed every time I threw and the disc floated left. We did a walk around downtown boulder where I was happy to see some retail stores opening back up.

We arrived to an area and I asked my friend for an obligatory selfie of us where I was asked to never post it. I was sending it to a mutual friend. I really don’t like selfies anyway. We did a really cool hike to green mountain and shared a snack at the top. I saw a guy wearing a familiar pair of ultra distance trail shoes so we struck up a conversation where I learned about some ultra races in the area. It rained a little and I loved it. I know I ended the day with an altitude headache but it didn’t stay long.

Friday we went to a little coffee shop and I was told they had a customer leave money and ask to buy people coffee for the day and the drinks I requested were complimentary. We then drove to a little trail that climbed a fire access road to a table top. On the way down my friend asked if I wanted to run and he had no idea how big the smile on my face became.

 Shortly after we went to a second area where we got to see bighorn sheep. My friend often refers to them as his spirit animal. My friend found trees to hang a hammock in where we got to enjoy relaxing and some snacks. Rain began as we made our way down the trail, but it didn’t stay long. We finished the day with my friend fishing and me reading a writing out of my friend’s notebook I wrote a little thank you note in. We packed up and drove down the road just in time as another rainstorm rolled in.

📷:AJA

📷: AJA

The last line I wrote to my friend was If you thought as highly of yourself as others do you would be astounded at the height of those thoughts.

Saturday began very early as we drove to an area where we would be attempting to reach Devils Thumb Pass. We began hiking and I noticed water everywhere quickly accompanied by snow. Postholing occurs when you step into snowpack and it collapses forming a hole to pull your leg and foot out of.  I would laugh each time my shoe became stuck or when both feet postholed and I fell on my butt. After just over 3 miles my friend pulled what he called an audible and I was okay with it. We changed direction and hiked toward a lake. We crossed a bridge where my friend allowed me to borrow his water filter. If you know me for any period of time you quickly learn the hardest thing for me to do is ask for something I want or need, but I really wanted cold water in my bottles. I got to fill up a container to filter water from river flow and it was sooo cold. We finally arrived to the lake where my friend set up a hammock and I made friends with a mallard duck couple. My friend caught two fish and we tossed the ducks fish guts. As the day began turning to eve we descended down the trail and returned home where my friend made fish and veggies for dinner and I was so thankful.

📷:AJA

📷:AJA

📷:AJA

Sunday began with breakfast, relaxing and doing laundry (yes I did my friend’s laundry too) followed by an adventure that I absolutely loved. It didn’t have a lot of elevation gain, but it had water everywhere, a place for my friend to fish, and boulders I could climb and go adventuring on. I washed my hands and took a little dip in the river it was so cold. I’m still amazed at all the things my friend did for me and shared with me on my short visit.

We went to this cute little place with bass fishing ponds. I was told I could go run and I ran a short couple miles around fishing ponds as I got to see my last Colorado sunset.

We ended the day with a little backyard fire with s’mores and he shared his one fish he caught and yummy garlic green beans. 

Today was the last day of my adventure vacation. My friend and I walked to get coffee he then set up a hammock in the front yard and I finished reading a book while he stepped away to go pick up take out lunch I got to do a few little thank you tasks at his house while he was away.

He drove me to the airport and gave me a hug curbside. With covid I had no idea how much I missed a simple hug. 

I would be kidding myself if I didn’t say it was a hard decision to travel. I’m thankful I got the chance to know my friend more after only being acquainted with him ten years ago. I enjoyed every adventure, every smile, every learning opportunity and even those  Fourth of July snaps he kept playing pranks with. 

Tears fell as I walked into the airport. I have always looked forward to going home after traveling and this time felt so much different.

I’m so thankful for this opportunity and all the fun I had and that I could go after everything that I wanted on the other side of fear.