Time to be Charitable

Two weeks after I earned my first dnf at an event I was offered a complimentary entry into an off-road triathlon. I've said numerous times I don't want to do triathlons, but my friend wanted me to join her and the cost was only the administrative fee. I was one of the few participants who chose not to use a wetsuit. The water was the perfect temperature, the morning was beautiful and I was the last swimmer out of the water, but that didn't matter I only had something to prove to myself and it was that I would prevail over that DNF. I made up for some lost time on the mtn bike portion and finished the run with some walking limping jogging intervals and had a great time and earned a cool metal. 

A couple weeks later I decided I would be a pacer for a friend on a weight loss and running journey to better health. My spartan race training partner and I arrived at the midnight 5k run in Avila the third weekend in October it was a fun run to benefit Special Olympics. We joined my friend to offer pacing support. She was doing great and had planned walking intervals, but just before the half mile mark I asked how she was feeling and she said great and I asked her to make a goal to maintain that pace to the finish line. Not only did she achieve that goal, but shaved five minutes off her previous time.

The following weekend I participated in the 4th annual mudmash. I had a great time although I missed some course markings and had to backtrack to complete the waterslide and the rings obstacle I was unsuccessful on.

I participated in a 5k color run with my spartan race training partner. I had a goal to finish in under 30 minutes and to complete negative mile splits. I was only 38 seconds shy of my goal and I ran negatives with the straight away to the finish line at an 8 minute mile pace. That was a great event also benefitting Special Olympics.

On Veteran's Day I did an 8 mile run to benefit Operation Surf. I had a goal to PR on this course. Shortly before mile 4 a triple amputee runner fell on the road in front of me. My PR goal was no longer a priority and making sure he was not hurt mattered more than a PR. He got up on his own despite his left prosthetic having been rotated during the fall he made some adjustments and kept on running. I sped up on the downhills and ran some negative splits and I was content with my finish.

Thanksgiving morning I drove an hour North to pick up a guy named Ben who I hadn't met previously but learned he had just committed along with a group of friends to running a spartan race in January. I then drove 45 minutes south to pismo beach where we participated in the turkey trot benefitting the food bank. Ben did awesome and finished the 10k. I ran a much slower 5k than anticipated, but I had fun.

Well I'm not always running. Sometimes I stop and rest and learn of a need for quilts for Children's Hospital Los Angeles Oncology Christmas party. I made a goal to provide two quilts. One for a girl and one for a boy. I purchased the fabric and finished the girl one. I waited for a fabric sale and finished purchasing the material for the boy quilt. I wanted to complete them both on my extended holiday weekend time off work, but I may be a little shy of that goal, but I'm happy to use my hobby to be charitable.

Today I spent all morning and afternoon with my best friend and favorite mountain biking partner. It is amazing to have someone who truly values my friendship and expresses that and seems to know just how to encourage me and can even laugh at me carrying my bike down a section of trail I was intimidated by.  He isn't afraid to ask me to believe in myself and to say he wished I was less intimidated by difficult sections of the downhill technical parts of trail.  It's also amazing to ride back to the trailhead and be handed an apple that I'd never tried. That's not all though the last time I adventured out on a ride with him it started with him making me fresh wheatgrass juice he grows himself. I guess I kind of like when the charity is given to me.

I always have loved the saying,"focus on giving rather than getting and you will receive more than you ever gave."

Opportunity of a Lifetime

Wednesday the 18th I celebrated my 36th birthday with a beach run followed by burpees on the sidewalk with friends.

Thursday afternoon I went to Mountain Air Sports to find something to provide warmth for the upcoming race I was traveling to participate in.

Friday morning I arrived in Burlington, Vermont where I was met at the airport by my friend Corinne. She was a large reason I made the choice to take on this race. I waited in the car as I encouraged her to go check to see if the airline had her lost piece of luggage. Much to her excitement she was reunited with her shorty shorts and salomons. We then traveled a less than 2 hour drive to a little lodge in Killington, Vermont. I think it was at this point we each decided a nap was completely mandatory.

Later Friday afternoon we traveled to a press conference and dinner. I met some great athletes all so inspiring and kind and some just ridiculously attractive. I met a young man named Iram who is a brain cancer survivor and he became our roommate for the weekend. He was so funny and positive his great attitude was contagious and I enjoyed having him around.

Saturday morning I went to the race venue and volunteered to help with the volunteers. That afternoon I watched as top athletes crossed the finish line every one of them in agreement the race course was their most challenging physical athletic accomplishment. I watched as others talked about not finishing because of cramping or hypothermia and I watched the weather pattern. I was determined not to be discouraged by any of the elements that could be a factor in what I was about to take on the following day.

Saturday evening I packed my hydration pack along with my long sleeve cotton dry wick shirt complete with thumb holes. This is the only time I deviated from the general rule of thumb of nothing new for race day. I also had my clif bar nutrition and fluid performance for electrolytes. Corinne and I were given a small map of directions that said where to take our drop box along with simple instructions that said,"figure it out." This is where I thought geez at least give us a map with coordinates and make me figure that out. We talked to a security guard who told us where to go, however when we followed his instructions we thought we had gone too far, thus we turned around only to learn 5 minutes later we only needed to go a mile farther. This should have been the first indication of what Sunday's race was going to entail.

Sunday morning Corinne drove me to the venue. She had completed the beast distance 14 mile course on Saturday with a pre-existing hamstring injury and decided at the last minute not to do the ultra beast marathon distance course.

I began to make my way to the starting line as I looked back at Corinne she said something I didn't understand and waved. My eyes started to tear up because I knew how much she wanted to be at the starting line with me. I had to walk fast, be tough and wipe the tears away. Each of the racers climbed a wall to the starting line. At 6:00 am I began the world championship spartan race ultra beast course. I was nearly the slowest right off the starting line. I was determined to find a slow pace and stay there. The first obstacles were over, under, through walls and I loved them. The course continued up a hill to barbwire to crawl or roll under. There were hills and more hills to go up I began to wonder if this mountain had a downhill. My question was answered with the next obstacle of a downhill/uphill tire drag. That was followed by a downhill section of mud, roots, rocks and trees. I hear a voice behind me say, "hey Jen, Corinne is behind us." I realized queen of green Andi Hardy was talking to me and I thought she can call me any name she likes she's pretty awesome. I watched her crawl, scoot, roll and have the Barbwire obstacle for breakfast on Saturdays course. Corinne yells to me and my competitive drive sets in. Only this terrain is downhill, completely saturated from the previous nights rain and I know I have to exercise caution. I follow the same pattern I did at the first Spartan Race I completed a month ago. I do not follow the pack to the left and scoot on my butt, yet I look to the right and read terrain line and exercise caution and maybe too much. I can see this section is costing me valuable time as I know there are checkpoints and cutoff times on the course. Corinne goes cruising by as Andi does some crazy sideways skid laying on this downhill section. I'm led to believe these elites do the practice for these sections in their sleep.

The course then travels uphill winding through all the trees of this gorgeous mountain at the top of this section we are given a memorization task. Take the last two digits of your bib number then read the word and numbers on the chart accordingly and memorize them. I love numbers and memory so this is my favorite obstacle thus far. I'm given Delta 730-2007. I get to run again finally after all the climbing and I'm looking forward to the sandbag carry. I arrive at the sandbag carry which I learn is around 60 pounds and it feels pretty light as I throw it over my shoulder and begin my ascent up the hill. The terrain is grassy, muddy and wet. This makes for watching my footing and every step count. I slip once or twice drop the sandbag pick it up and keep going. I have my garmin going to time myself on this obstacle as it was the major topic of discussion for the shorter course the day prior. I'd later learn I set a STRAVA course record for that carry. I look up and Corinne is on the downhill part and I realize I want to be faster. I am at the turn around point of the sandbag obstacle for the open heat when I'm told the elite heat goes to the top. Okay cool to the top I go another 3/10 of a mile up this mountain. It's something to look forward to because as soon as that's over I can engage my quads I worked on strengthening by being the back squat junkie. A short period later an athlete named Elliott passes me and I know he's the first place competitor for the beast course wave that began at 8:00. I cheer him on and tell him he's got the lead and to keep it! I finish the sandbag carry and stop tracking myself on my garmin so I don't waste the battery and not know the time. I realize at this point I'm obsessing about those cutoff times. 

I do more climbing, hiking, running if it can be called that and come to a lovely balance obstacle where I earn my first set of burpees. I don't mind them I actually love burpees they remind me that I'm lucky so lucky that my body moves from standing to plank to knees tucked up to feet on the ground and I can jump and clap. 

Shortly after this I meet a guy named Eric he and I run and walk together for the next couple miles until I realize this easy grassy terrain is my chance to do a timed mile and make up for lost minutes from all of the climbing. I feel bad, but I have to leave him. I am here for myself and I want to complete this course.

There's another barbwire obstacle and more walls and I'm excited walls that used to be a struggle are fun now. The rope climb earned me my next set of burpees.

I arrive at the spear throw and earn some more burpees, but that's okay because here's where some strategy comes into play. The next obstacle is an open water swim from side to side of a pond. Burpees generate body heat and I'll want that when I hit the water. My IT band had also been a nuisance so cold water therapy will soothe that. I jump in the pond and say wow this is awesome it's nearly the same temperature as Lake Lopez where I did some training. I submerge my torso and arms and think no, no this is definitely colder than Lopez. I know I just need to keep that frog kick arm moving going all the way to the shore. I refuse to use the floating balls and rope for assistance. I know my stubbornness has played an essential roll this entire time.

I get out of the water and am looking forward to running to my drop box, but I'm stopped dead in my tracks. I get told to go flip a log in gravel the distance of the flag markers and back. I like this obstacle too. It's like the tire flip, but it's half a tree. I'm soaking wet, not cold and flipping a log at a ski resort with amazing scenery and positive people surrounding me. I run over to get to my drop box and I'm told I have two options take a penalty and go to my box or return in 6 miles. I take the penalty as I've used all my fluid its just after 2:00 pm and I know the weather changes around 3:10 from my observation of the previous day. I transfer out of my wet fleece to my dry thumb hole zip up. I kept my wet FLUID t-shirt on under it. I climbed a wall and continued on course strait up another hill. I'm trying to make 3 miles to the 3:00 pm course cutoff. I was nervous and thinking of everything I could tell the volunteers or course marshalls to let me continue in case I'm late. I arrive at 3:02 pm am told the cutoff time was extended and I'm allowed to continue with an elastic band around my ankles bunny hopping up and down flights of stairs and over posts on a bridge. It's like box jumps meets Peter Rabbit or the hobie hop as some refer to it.

On to the next obstacle they call commando chain bars. These are not anything like the monkey bars in the last Spartan Race or the set at Laguna Middle Scool I trained on. These are gorilla bars. Large rusty pipes too high for me to reach with a chain attached. I attempt twice to pull myself up with the chain and grab the bar. No luck burpees it is where I'm completely annoyed and may have cursed Norm the race director/course designer...sorry Norm. On to a 12 ft wall that I wish was more challenging to climb or an invert wall. 

Somewhere I get to climb a cargo net and I'm hanging at the top and the female volunteer says to me,"I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you have amazing legs." All I can reply is thank you as I'm willing said legs to propel me over to the other side. 

It's back to up and down more hills back to the pond where I get to carry a log and roll it and me under barb wire. I finish getting down the hill with the log and the course Marshall tells me I have 15 minutes before his cutoff so he wants me to continue, but the next aid station is 4 miles away and I need to show him my headlamp. I pull it out of my pack quickly and I take off uphill where I say didn't I just do this. The Marshall laughs and said he said the same thing during the week on course build and he encourages me to catch up to the two individuals ahead of me. His kindness toward my success and well-being instilled a new energy and I keep plugging away and I catch up to a young lady named Lisa. Her IT band is hurting her and I tell her mine is too, but at my knee not my hip, but I encourage her to stay with me. We reach the top then come to a section that has slippery bridges the one is curved and reminds me of the eucs bridge that I hiked on just two weeks previously at home. Lisa tells me it's snowing. I disagree and tell her it's precipitation not real snow and we continue on through these trees and up more hills. I ask her about the other young man she had been with as we see a light up ahead that isn't moving. She said she didn't know him. We reach the young man. His name is Sean he's wearing at short sleeve shirt and shorts and says he is freezing. Lisa had a emergency solar blanket in her pack, but it served useless. I shine my light on the green flagging marking trail and I'm thankful for my 3 years of "hashing" experience searching for true trail. We arrived to the next obstacle and two volunteers. I asked the volunteer to radio the race director as I felt Sean needed immediate medical aid and warmth. It was at this point my time on the race course ended. I was willing to continue, but I knew I'd hit the nhttp://share.spartanrace.com/x/m8JgA6ext obstacle after the last cut-off time and I'd be alone on the mountain until I reached it. The volunteers and two other runners were being picked up and I wasn't asked if I wanted to go on it was just assumed I wanted a ride back to the festival area so I held my head up high and I went. The ride in the truck was an adventure. The driver Chris was incredibly chivalrous and patient and a great 4 wheelin truck driver. The girl in front of me questioned how I just came off the course and still had energy and was positive. In my mind I'd been telling myself this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, meaning I was only going to do this once, but the truth of the matter is that course didn't defeat me my spirits are still high I had an excellent time. The area was completely unlike anything I have ever experienced. I've already developed a game plan to go back and try it all over again because I didn't like earning my very first DNF.

I got off the plane on my flight home and my legs protested the stairs, but I went to lunch and donated blood because I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than sharing life with someone in need.

Devote Time to Make a Dream Reality

One week after I finished the Spartan Race Beast course in Monterey I was wanting to find a way to go Vermont to the world championship Spartan Race. At this point it was only a thought not a dream nor a goal.

I talked to my friend who is a sponsored athlete and she mentioned fund raising. I decided it was finally time to have the courage to share my survival story I experienced almost 5 years ago.

Here is what followed. I created a fund raising site added my story to it and created a dollar amount goal. All I wanted was to afford my flight, shoes and hydration pack. 

Here is the story posted on the site.

5 years ago I had a defining moment in my life. I experienced heartbreak for the first time in my life. I threw in the towel and said I didn't want to go on living. All the comforts I knew, the job I had and the roof over my head were taken away in the blink of an eye. I stopped eating, sleeping became a chore and the routine I once knew was non-existent. 4 weeks later and 30 pounds missing from my frame I decided I didn't want that 30 pounds to ever return. I decided to start running. I used a guideline found on a website and I did the couch to 5k program. I ran my first 5k in April 2009 in 32:32 and I was happy. Later that year I would run my first half marathon in 2:36:52. I've run mudmash in San Luis Obispo since it's beginning in 2010 when I helped build my first 12' obstacle wall. In April 2013 I ran my first marathon after learning I had 26.2 days to train for it. Much to my dismay I had to start doing walking/running intervals post mile 16. I've always had a goal to do a 10k in under an hour. In July I did a beach memorial run and much to my surprise I was only 1 min 22 seconds off my goal. August 10th 2013 I completed my first Spartan race. It was the Spartan Beast Monterey which is a hilly 12.6 mile challenging course. It was an emotional race for me. I wanted to give something back so I chose to be a course sweeper with a friend of mine. This meant I would be walking/running the course I had just completed. My friend and I would be supporting the last runner and picking up the trash left on the course. Walking with the last runner learning of his reason for being there was truly touching. Attending this event put a new drive in me. I'm celebrating my 36th birthday September 18th this year and I decided as my gift to myself I want to go take the opportunity to compete at the Spartan Race World Championship. I want to raise funds to help send me there, but I also want to donate any amount that is over my goal to the Didi Hirsch Mental Health Organization. 

I won't be able to participate in the 15th annual alive and running 5k walk/run for suicide prevention as it is the same day this year as the Spartan Race, but this is my way of proving to myself that life is valuable, it is to be celebrated and I am thankful mine was so blessed to take on a new leaf despite the challenges I faced and choices I made those number of years ago.

The day I shared this page my friend donated $22.00 to get me started as that was my daily goal. Her friend donated a dollar for each year of birth I'm celebrating. Many dear friends and loved ones contributed generously and in 3 short days I was 77% of the way to my goal. I scheduled my flight, ordered my shoes and started searching for hydration packs. It has all happened so quickly and I've had to make time in my schedule for my full-time management job, obstacle race training, friends, family phone calls, the running group I am partially in charge of, contacting fluid and clif for sponsorship, hotshots 19 memorial WOD to honor the Arizona fallen firefighters, running a hydration, nutrition, endurance trail run of over 12 miles and mountain biking with my biggest supporter and best friend who is by far more than I could ever ask for in a person. He is a coach, a friend and most importantly a teacher who encourages me to build confidence and believe in myself each and every time we ride together. I'm certain it's mental and physical cross-training.

In less than 3 weeks I will be participating in the adventure and feat of my life and I am so excited and also so incredibly thankful for so much love and support surrounding me. People are AWESOME!

Time to get muddy

A blog post I wrote in January I spoke about talking to a girl I was very inspired by. She continued to inspire me passing me at mile 18 of my first marathon in April. Fast forward a couple months and I receive a message from her asking me if I'd like a complimentary entry into a Spartan Race in Monterey on August 10th. Of course I say yes as I have no idea what this entails. I later learn its a half marathon distance mud run with obstacles. I did a ten mile course over a year ago so I felt prepared. I continued my fitness schedule I've had in place for a number of months and one week prior to the race on August 10th I went with a friend on a hill run and learned to use ropes to rappel down a rock face. I'd later learn on a section of the course that this run and lesson I received would prove very valuable.

The day of the race I was awake at 3:30 am to prepare my hydration pack and needed supplies. I picked up my friend and off we went. We arrived at the parking lot of our destination 2 hours later then had to catch a shuttle to the event site. My friend had a earlier start time so she left an hour ahead of me.

The first obstacle I came to were some dirt mounds to climb followed by mud pits filled with water. After that obstacle I'd face steep uphill climbs a short downhill then get to the wall climbs. Wall climbs have always been difficult for me in previous short distance mud runs I've completed. I was happy I didn't struggle. I climbed over the walls and I looked forward to having a burpee free race. It was then on to a series of box jumps on wooden bleachers those were fun. I came to the monkey bars and was told if I fell off it was burpees. Now I love burpees, but I really wanted to cross those monkey bars. Trust me they were way easier as a child! The muddy barbwire crawl complete with getting drenched by the fire hose was a great time. The most difficult obstacle for most of the athletes was filling the 5 gallon bucket with sand and gravel and carrying it up a hill and back down. I figured out a technique that worked well for me. There were tire pulls, sand bag carries, cinder block drags, more barb wire crawls and my favorite obstacle was the the invert wall. My least favorite obstacle was the suspended cargo net. My left leg experienced cramping and I was scared to cross it. I took it slow and steady and made it across. I failed the rope climb, traverse wall and spear throw so alas I didn't have a burpee free run, but I did have a terrific time.

I crossed the finished line and my friend and obstacle course specialist found me and we set off to sweep the course.

We caught up to the last runner on the course. He was nauseous and proceeded to vomit, but was determined to carry on. My friend and I would learn he was there with his father and 4 sisters in honor of their mother who had battled breast cancer that had since metastasized to her bones. This struck close to home as I lost the woman who was a second grandma to me just over a year ago. This young man wasn't able to finish not for lack of tenacity, mental ability or drive, but simply physically and medically  it wasn't advised.

My friend and I continued on the course picking up trash, taking down course markings and I was excited to pull the men's weight tire and do the invert wall a second time.

This event sparked a drive and desire in me that I've never experienced before. I learned there is a world championship event in Vermont in just 6 weeks from the time this event I participated in took place. I'm simply amazed at the amazing turn my life has taken in only 3 short months.

A time I'm unable to find the positive

Rewind back 17 years I had a horrible skin rash on my neck and legs it was Christmas time and I was in Utah visiting my family.

My mom took me to a dermatologist who said he thought I had a rarely diagnosed skin disease. He asked permission to do a biopsy I said if it helps figure out treatment go ahead.

Two weeks later I was told I had dariers disease and there wasn't any given treatment for it. It's something I was born with that went misdiagnosed for a number of years because I didn't exhibit its typical symptoms. It's an autoimmune disorder and genetically passed from mother to child. My mother does not have it nor its symptoms, but the active gene was passed on to me.

Here's where tests began. Steroid creams, cortisone shots, accutane which places it in longer term remission, but the side effects are horrible, required two negative pregnancy tests and birth control. The side effects of birth control lead to an ER visit with all the symptoms of a mini stroke. That lead to a choice to have an endometrial ablation which is a sterilizing procedure and the doctor asks if I'm certain I'm okay with not having children and he's shocked with my calm demeanor and my fear of the 50% chance of passing the skin disease onto a child. The ablation wasn't completely successful, but I learned a lot from the surgery. As if that wasn't challenging enough I also had to make a choice to have bilateral breast augmentation because of the lesions not healing.

I've learned to live with it and be tolerant of people who ask about it out of curiosity. Some times I'm more sensitive about it than others. The last time I went to donate blood I had a small flare and the rn commented on it. I was so incredibly uncomfortable after that and I've had a spot on my left arm that has been flaring and healing for over two months now. It's an incredible source of frustration and even more so because I want to donate blood but won't because I need it to heal. I've left two messages for a dermatologist here that a dear friend speaks very highly of, but it's upsetting to me that they want me to schedule a visit before I even have a chance to ask thow much they know about the disease itself or its treatment. The last dermatologist I asked about his knowledge of it went straight to offering the next worse alternative to accutane.

The hardest part for me is when my activity level increases or I get hot it often triggers a flare and it gets hot and itchy. The trigger points are usually the neck, upper back, ears, torso.

Tonight I got to play ultimate frisbee glow in the dark style which was great, but my skin decided to have an attitude problem.

I'm laying in bed typing this hoping the Benadryl decreasing the swelling and the zinc cream soothes the pain.

I think the largest lesson I've learned from this is that it isn't who I am, but it's what I have and it's a challenge I've been given to cope with. Today I'm not coping with it as well as I'd like!!!

Good Samaritan Time

Today I got a call from a kind lady who needed to return her Uhaul truck. She had driven it from Ogden, Utah. This woman had my same first name and the same last name of my friend in Santa Barbara. We began talking I asked a couple questions let her know I was familiar with Ogden as I had grown up in a small town called Farmington just 25 minutes South of Ogden. She was surprised I pronounced her last name right and I asked her if she knew a gentleman by the name of Rich with her same last name in Santa Barbara. My customer then responded he was her cousin. My customer needed to coordinate return of her rental truck to my work and a ride to the airport to get a car. She asked if I would be willing to give her a ride. I was so anxious at the opportunity presented to me to be a Good Samaritan that I said yes I have a 6:00 obligation, but I'd be happy to coordinate transportation for her. 

My 6:00 obligation was a run with a new running group. I had such a terrific time!

I then met my customer at work so she could return the rental truck and off we drove to the airport. I learned so many wonderful things about her.

I absolutely adore my new job. Some days are stressful and challenging, but I'm constantly learning and I value that so much.

I feel a tremendous amount of blessings have been pouring my way lately and although I was hesitant toward this transition it's created the most amazing change for me. My attitude, my health, my focus and happiness have improved an incredible amount in a very short time.

I will be moving and transitioning into the on-site living quarters at work and with that comes new surprises. Tomorrow evening I have a friend who is willing to come help me paint the one accent wall in the master bedroom. I will miss my little beach studio above the garage at my friend's house, but I'm also very excited about this new larger living space.

I think it has been said when we lose ourselves in serving others it is we who receive the greater reward and I'm truly watching that unfold daily. 

Marathon Time

This month began with my first marathon run.

I'd given myself 26.2 days to train to finish my first marathon. I remember reading in A Non-Runner's Guide to Marathon Training that you shouldn't make time constraints on your marathon finish. I decided I wanted a steady pace, not to have to walk and to finish in 5 hours or less. Yes going against all I'd read.

I got up early on race day 4:00 am early and parked my car at a friends house and walked to the starting line. My friend Ashley rode her bike to the start to wish me well. A friend and his wife from my running group yelled my nickname at the start line. I saw my team captain who was running barefoot and my teammate who had a troublesome knee. The countdown by Ultramarathon Man Dean Karnazes started I pressed my strava timer put on my headphones and started running through city streets. Mile 1 was crowded and I began my positive self talk. Mile 3 I ran past a guy I once dated as he was at a stoplight cheering on runners he later sent a text to say congrats. I stayed focused on to mile 4 or was it 6 where friends in my running group were handing out beer and cheering on runners. Jen yelled my nickname and said you're my hero. That made me laugh and keep running. They had done trail chalk marks on the road and made the course entertaining. I had two gels in my bra that I kept fueling with and periodically accepted fluid that was handed to me at aid stations. I talked to a young lady because I liked her pink shirt and I continued to run. I decided to lose the headphones and become aware of my surroundings. At the halfway point I passed my friend Corinne who was on the uphill on her way to the halfway mark and carrying a 30 pound pack of dog food and supplies. She was running for a good cause. I got so overwhelmed with praise for her that I forgot to breathe and I almost toppled over just after I high fived her. Mile 14 and 15 I was ecstatic because I'd never run that far before. It was shortly after that my IT bands began protesting and I was faced with back to back hills I was determined to conquer. Shortly after mile 16 I began walking and here comes the woman in the pink shirt who tells me to keep going that I have been her pacer the entire time. I learn her name is Eunice and she and I complete the last ten miles talking and encouraging one another. There is a bridge at mile 25 and a tiny hill near the finish line. At that hill I get a pep talk from some awesome young man and I walk and run to the finish line. I didn't achieve my time or not walking goal, but I did finish and learned so much along the way. I didn't tell any of my family I was doing this I wanted to tell my mom when I went home to visit the following weekend.

I ran four days later with my running group and two days after that a 5k at altitude while visiting my family. I got to surprise my dad and all of my family with a visit home. It was great to see my youngest down syndrome brother Ben still knew who I was despite the schizophrenia that has altered him so much. He's very quiet, but still funny and sweet like he has always been. My mom showed me all her fabric and new quilt design and let me take baby quilt fabric with me. She also gave me two books by Carla Kelly. She's an author my mom got me to thoroughly enjoy. I loved seeing my 4 month old nephew Sol he is so sweet. My youngest niece and nephew didn't remember me that was hard, but as time went on they warmed up to me. My niece was hilarious as she learned I lived near the beach she said,"I hope not one with jellyfish."

On my flight home from Utah I was in the San Francisco airport as I learned of the Boston Marathon bombing. My heart was immediately turned to my friend Scott and the athletes of Los Angeles Speed Project. An overwhelming sigh of relief came over me when I received report they were okay.

The following week I used my days off to push my fitness limits. I did a CrossFit workout that really tested my abilities. It was run, toes2bar, 95# weighted lunges...shut up legs!!! Then I spent 3 hours sitting in a car traveling to a bike race. The following morning I learned I could test ride a mountain bike on the race course and for almost 2 hours I had the best riding I'd experienced in the 2 years since I discovered the sport. The next day my legs were more sore than I ever remember them being. Even the marathon didn't leave me sore...only tired for days!

Friday I treated myself to trading in my Tahoe for a smaller SUV and honestly 3 hours in a dealership can't compare to a marathon! I'd much rather be running.

Saturday I ran a successful 5k that was a struggle and today I ran a short trail run with Ashley who is doing her first half ironman at an event this weekend. I only wish I could cheer her on and take pictures and ride my bike to push her on course when she needs it most just like she did for me.

This month was one long month that felt like alot of full and mini marathons. It's been full of changes and all very welcomed!

Commitment Time

I started my day by not being motivated to get up to do my usual Tuesday early morning fun run before work. I went to the trail ran a couple minutes got bored and turned around to walk back to my car and drive to work.

I started my shift made my usual egg, sausage, sweet potato hash brown breakfast. I then did the usual Tuesday shopping trip and came back to the house.

I took a break and saw that our new SLO Ambassador had posted he had 8 comp entries to fill for the SLO Marathon, Half Marathon and 5k. I asked if I could do the half. Another individual asked if he could do the half as well. Bentley our new ambassador responded that if we could do half we could do the full. I immediately responded that my last long run was 5 miles and I'm in.

I have read the non-runner's guide to marathon training followed its schedule to train for the half marathon I successfully completed 3 years ago and I know that 16 weeks is a great guide for the recommend amount of time to train for a marathon. Okay so I'm short 13 1/2 weeks no big deal!

I don't have room for skeptics or pessimism here or those who might tell me I'm setting myself up for injury or failure.

I've very recently read Matty Long's success story of his Long Run, Carissa Phelps story of triumph, Cheryl Strayed's journey down Pacific Crest Trail, I'm currently reading Bill Bryson's Walk in the Woods and just tonight I learned of an amazing inspiration Jeremy P. McGhee I will take his amazing words and ignore the voice in my head that says I'm not good enough and it can't be done. Let go of everything and do what you love profound words spoken by an amazing individual!

My dear friend and ultrarunner friend Kevin asked me if I'm prepared. I replied no I'm not prepared, but I'm willing. He's running it too. I expect him to be twice as fast and qualify for Boston.

Okay so last week the Crossfit Open Games 2013 started with WOD 13.1 being announced. I completed 40 burpees, 30 snatches at 45 lbs, 30 burpees, 18 snatches at 75 lbs in 17 minutes. For the next 4 weeks WOD 13.2, 13.3, 13.4, 13.5 will be announced. 13.5 will be announced just 3 days after I finish running my first marathon. I don't think it's a coincidence I completed workout 13.1 last Friday and committed to running 26.2 today.

I got my photos from the bicycle photo booth and my favorite is the one where I'm in runners pose holding the bike. My favorite little self mantra is CrossFit, Mtn. Bike, Run...always have fun!!!

Sometimes I take a different trail

I was so fortunate to have two days off work loaded with adventure.

I got off work Thursday morning and went to have my makeup done by Angela at Sephora. She did a wonderful job and my bright pink lipstick matched the neon pink on my jersey and socks.

Thursday afternoon I went to Kman Bicycle and Run to a bicycle photo booth that was sponsored by App Photography. It was such amazing fun I cannot wait to see the results!

Thursday evening I went on a hash run where I learned of a descending rope climb to a very small beautiful beach. That was then followed by a climb up a hill with a 16% grade. As I was ascending that hill my mind reflected on the book Wild that I had just finished reading and I was inspired to keep pushing myself up that hill which earned me a course record on my little program I use to track my progress. It's a good motivational tool for me.

Friday I went to CrossFit Grover Beach and I really enjoyed the WOD. For those of you thinking ugh I hate when people talk about CrossFit feel free to skip reading this. I don't care for rowing so the 1000m row tested my attention span. Hey look there's a squirrel running across the beach and wow look at that view. See that's what happens when I am on a rowing machine one block from the beach with an ocean view. I then got to move on to burpee box jumps (yes I like them) followed by pull-ups and ring dips. For the first time ever my first two pull-ups may have had a kip in them and I felt really strong. Then I moved on to deadlifts which are so frustrating to me because prior to hurting my back over a year ago I felt I did well in that area. I still complete the movement, but the weight is clearly much lighter than what I feel I could be lifting.

I left CrossFit Grover Beach and met my friend to go for a night mtn. bike ride at Lopez Lake. My friend let me use his very bright light as he decided he wanted to test his old technology light that he had modified. I hadn't been on any of these trails and the purpose of the ride was to see what I missed out on by not participating in the off road triathlon I volunteered at last year. I decided to turn around and ride back and told my friend I didn't want to test my limit and get fatigued. On our way back we each got disoriented and ended up riding roads and numerous trails to try to get back to the fireroad we knew we had ridden out. I ended up walking up to the house at the boyscout camp and I met the nicest most lighthearted man. He said,"I bet you're going to ask me how the heck you get out of here." That was precisely my question. My friend's light had run out of battery so we knew we would be riding with only the reflection I had lighting the way. The man at the boyscout camp we learned was Ranger Mike told us the way out to which my friend Mike and I just laughed. We had been past where we needed to go at least 3 times 2 of those times going left when we should have gone right. Mike and I both remained positive the entire time later joking that we would call that our lost adventure.

I look forward to seeing the next adventure my day off provides...

Time to Admit I'm Posi+ively Defeated

Friday I left my house to run errands. That got derailed when I came upon a vehicle versus pedestrian accident scene.

A number of bystanders stopped to help the individual who was struck by the vehicle. The main individual that assisted really impressed me because he knew all the patient assessment questions to ask. Another bystander approached and I recognized him from the previous crossfit box I used to attend and I knew he is a firefighter so I knew the individual was well cared for. I later learned the primary individual assisting is a chiropractor and he attends crossfit as well. He ended up asking me when I was coming back to the box to which I responded I go to another box now, but I ended up clarifying knowing full well I've had zero desire to crossfit.

A month of being sick has derailed my positive attitude, my motivation and my overall interest in the physical activities that I usually crave doing.

I attended a memorial service for a dear woman Paula on Friday afternoon. Paula was the individual who trained me to do my job at the Santa Barbara Sheriff Department. Paula was only 38 and lost her battle to cancer. She has a dear husband and a toddler son. The service paid such an incredible tribute to her! I didn't know what was once my favorite song by Metallica to run listening to could indeed make me cry.

I forced myself to go to crossfit Friday evening. It was good to be feeling well enough to go, but it was a real struggle.

Saturday morning I made myself go for a run. It was only 3 miles and I was glad I wasn't coughing the entire time and my stats showed a great first mile pace, but I feel like I've lost so much headway that I had made.

Today I went to do the regular crossfit workout and I felt okay. I felt I had a little motivation back so I decided to take a small break to meet up with a friend for tea after which I went back to crossfit for the strength training element. Here's where that feeling of complete defeat set in.

There is a technique in a specific lift that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to fix my mistake. Some days I can fix the mistake and most days I'm unable to. As I hear the one trainer remind me not to swing the bar out like a kettlebell and I try to improve I hear the other trainer say that I just don't listen. It's at this point that I just get mad! I don't want the trainer to see that he broke me and I know I just have ten minutes of lifts left.

I later ask for feedback and how to improve which is reinforced with the one part of the strength element I did great, but the other part leaves something to be desired.

I came home and my friend I met for tea asked how my workout went to which I responded I have a lot of room for improvement. He responded by saying practice makes perfect. I'm sure glad there's that one person to throw out the positive note when clearly mine has taken a path in a negative direction.

I can't honestly say what it's going to take to get myself back on track or even how long it will take. I do know this isn't something I can fix with my usual formula of It Starts With A Decision!

Transition Time

At the beginning of 2011 my blog post looked like this:

My resolution is to be a stronger, happier, kinder, healthier me in 6 months and then continue on after reaching my goal until years end.

My game plan: Have a support network
Accept accountability
Complete one competitive run monthly I almost have until June planned out
Utilize the gym at home
Utilize down time at work for stationary strength training
Drink water and plenty of it
Focus on staying positive and not self critical

I don't even remember setting goals for 2012. My resolution for this year is to not duplicate patterns or habits from the previous year. I'd like to believe I learned from my life lessons. I faced alot of loss, but I'd prefer to focus on the knowledge and experience I gained.

I received a great invite to a gathering yesterday evening at a friend's home. He is such a kind, fun host. He let me cook mahi tacos and share with everyone. I was lucky enough to talk to an endurance mud runner who I've admired and been inspired by for a long time. I'm fairly certain she's completely unaware of this.

I got out of bed this morning wanting to do an hour long run, but instead changed it to a timed mile with pull-up practice and a recovery walk. I successfully ran a mile faster than my previous best time of 8:57 shaving off a mere 6 seconds. It's a small improvement, but it's improvement and that's where I want my positive focus to be.

I remember a dear mentor once told me her one consistent yearly goal was to be kind to herself. I think I will mirror that resolve and not make any specific goals other than continued daily improvement in my attitude, my choices and of course my love for fitness and health.

The days where I may fall short of my improvement expectation I will remember there are new opportunities every day and I will smile!!!