Time to Overcome Discouragement

I called the ER and they informed me it would be another charge for the visit to remove my stitches. My friend told me she could help me, but I was impatient and determined to do it myself. A week has passed since I removed my own stitches.

The day after stitch removal I was back on my bike going up Stagecoach road
with my sidekick Aussie/Labrador MJ just like we do each Monday afternoon. That ride is my therapy after the long 48 hour weekend shift at work. MJ makes me laugh hysterically every time he launches himself over the metal cattle grate. I only did a short ride no falls, no knee trouble.

I went to crossfit wearing my shorts and tall socks with duck tape on my knee and double unders were on the WOD. I've finally after months and months kind of learned the trick to them and I shocked myself completing 11 in a row. We did box step ups that challenged me because I had to use my left leg every time to step up. My legs were sore the next two days. I also did another bike ride after and had a great time and climbed trail that I usually choose to descend.

Thursday I went for a morning bike ride, an afternoon jog/hike where a helicopter flew over my head at the top of the mountain. I finished my day with an evening bike ride.

My evening bike ride was on lemon grove with a new friend.
I climbed the first section well and I thought I was just going to do a quick ride very short loop, but my riding partner took me on the longer portion of the trail. He was great! He was patient, opened a gate for me, told me how itchy the yellow jacket sting would be the next day (yes first sting ever). He told me to follow his lead which helped me successfully accomplish a climb until I got stuck and had to hop off and hike my bike for a minute. I cleaned a downhill section even though I was extremely nervous. It was a section I've ridden in the past, but my confidence level got rocked from the fall I recently took that ended in the stitched knee. I learned it was time I overcome the discouragement. We started running out of daylight and my partner asked which way I wanted to go then quickly informed me he was making an executive decision to take the quick way down. The quick way isn't hard, but it's rocky and intimidating with very little daylight. Well much to my surprise I finally learned why people tell me my 29er rolls over everything. I had a really great time it was probably my favorite ride all week. I almost left out the best part...my riding partner showed me a side trail that was an option if I wanted to skip the hill where I knew I'd have to hike my bike. I take the trail option and the easier hill to ride at the end of it. The best part of this side trail is when my riding partner tells me he spent his time clearing the poison oak and improving the trail. I asked him if he did the entire trail that I rode. He did it on his own, expecting nothing in return and he did it because he couldn't ride while he's been healing from a hand surgery. Yes he earned major brownie points! Anyone that would voluntarily remove poison oak is a saint in my book!

Sometimes Setbacks Occur

I've put up a pretty good front trying to stay positive through this setback that occurred.

Thursday I was dealing with being tired of "taking it easy." I finished putting ice on my knee and I went to a friend's house to make dinner for he and his extended family. I was later told his family would not eat what I was fixing and his sister ended up making a second dinner for her family. This left me discouraged and deflated. I try not to expect much. I wanted to do a kind thing that left me feeling completely unwelcome and unappreciated, but I was determined not to let the situation get the best of me. I left just as soon as was appropriate and went to meet one of my mtn. biking friends at bike night.

I decided to take my bike out of my car to see if I could ride it. The rear tire was flat again. My friend helped me pump it up. This is my same friend who helped me fix the flat the last time and same tire tube he helped me replace. My knee cooperated despite the stitches in it. It was slightly uncomfortable but the range of motion improved.

Friday morning I decided to try to crossfit. Fran was on the WOD and I was excited to try it. I modified my depth of the squat and was ten pounds shy of the RX weight. I also chose to use a band for the pull-ups. Pull-ups are the most discouraging skill for me, but they also push me to go outside my comfort zone and try harder. I once stated at crossfit,"I will own those pull-ups!"

In comes my setback. I had decided to begin training for my first off-road triathlon and not tell anyone. I was doing two and sometimes 3 workouts a day on my days off. I started doing longer bike rides meeting great new people to ride with. I ran with my friend who's a seasoned ultra-runner. I was continuing crossfit and I was enjoying pushing myself.

I've had to admit to myself that this setback usurped some of my positive attitude. This week I'm going to attempt to get back on my previous schedule. It will be scaled, but I want to try to make the most of it and I know I'm going to need a lot of encouragement and to hold myself accountable.

Distraction Time

Today I returned to the ER for my suture check. No sign of infection and I was encouraged to practice more range of motion each day. I also got cleared to return to work. I wasn't cleared for physical activities, but I wasn't given any specifics other than to keep the stitches in as long as possible to prevent another tear in the future. I'll use my discretion here which means I will drive myself crazy trying to continue to take it easy.

I went to a movie with my friend Kevin after my ER visit. It was a movie with a lot of biking skill involved and a good story line. Kevin told me he ran the trail today where I had fallen and it was in horrible condition and there are future improvement plans in the works. This made me feel better.

I walked to habitat and smelled my favorite candles from comfort candle company and saw a gorgeous glass ball with two holes in it and succulents placed inside. I loved it and thought it was so brilliantly beautiful.

I came home and sewed another baby blanket with more of the butterfly material I received from my mom over a year ago. I often wonder if I'll ever finish using all of it.

I walked over to crossfit and paid my monthly dues so I'm committed to my knee's healing process and my fitness. I attempted to jump rope and did some pull-up practice.

I came home and made a little stir fry and used little spinach leaves and made mini wraps that turned out very delicious.

I had a good time today and found that distractions can be healthy.

Time to be Patient

Today is day one after getting stitches in my knee.

My morning was okay I did my regular Monday morning housekeeping job.

I made my guacamole with red pepper strips in a watermelon to take to some friends moving away picnic.

I met a new friend for a very short hike. While I know this may not be well advised I needed to know how limited I was. I got my answer I limped the entire time with my leg straight. My knee isn't bending very far.

I came home and wanted my pajamas on. Just getting my tall socks off was a challenge. I assessed my knee and saw how swollen it was and I just broke down in tears. I also realized I don't like pain and I wanted an extra strength ibuprofen. I rarely take anything other than my multivitamin and fish oil. I also realized that I needed to eat, but didn't want to strain to walk anymore and dinner would require a trip to the grocery store.

In steps my little miracle friend. I call her T. T doesn't know I think of her as my miracle friend. I met T at crossfit and later saw her at a mud run and she had this fun pink and blonde hair and she was adorable. I didn't start getting to know her better until a few months ago when I went on a bike ride with her. I was amazed everything came so easy to her. I had my first flat tire that day. I call her my miracle friend because she always pulls off these little miracles. Knowing I need a text to laugh or inspiration and my phone lights up or I see something on Facebook from her. Well tonight she continued her tradition. I asked her how she got through her emergency appendectomy recovery which led to a series of texts and then she asks if I want chicken and dumplings. My body says absolutely, but my weakness is accepting kindnesses. Especially when it's the second one she's performed of the day. Yes she gave me her ninja blender and food processor. Teresa brought me yummy chicken and dumplings, but it's no ordinary meal it's paleo and all pretty in a glass bowl with the beautifully brown crusted dumpling right on top and it's just the right temperature and I'm no longer worried about the ibuprofen I took minutes earlier on an empty stomach.
T tells me I need to be better about asking for help and she's right. She says no one minds and I believe her.

Well I left my phone charger at work. I do everything on my phone. Email my mom, research, text, map my exercise. I have a phone charger for the car and Its interesting to think I've become so dependent on an inadament object, nonetheless I have.

My friend I met recently and showed some new biking trails a couple weeks ago lives close by and has an iPhone so I asked if he might have one to spare me. Of course he says yes he's on his way. He had asked me to let him know if I needed anything and well I guess I am improving on asking for help.

The important thing I like to bare in mind is that although I feel most of us as humans like to feel needed and are happy to fulfill our loved ones requests for help, I like to remember to not set expectations and no one ever owes me anything.

Time to Take Advice

After Fridays biking adventure I went to work yesterday morning with my bandaged knee. Then today I asked for my sisters advice. She told me it needed looked at and irrigated and stitched. She gave me the pros and cons list and the cons list included sepsis which I have seen only once and know I don't want it. Another good friend of mine said she would show the picture to a local ER doctor and he advised treatment as well.

I called my office to be relieved and took myself to the ER. I was scared and nervous, but all that changed as one nurse took my vitals, looked at the wound and the doctor came over to treat it right away.

A little cleaning a shot for numbing and a "freezing cold" fluid for irrigation (cleaning). 4 stitches that I wish I could remember the name of. All I know is Dr.Greenburg said they were a very strong stitch and shouldn't tear away during my activities.

The funniest part of my visit was when I asked if I could still do crossfit and the doctor responded in about five days and the ER nurse chimed in and said they'd use elastic stitches. She got a great response and laugh from me. I even got my tetanus shot updated.

I clean my awesome friend's house on Mondays and it happens to be just down the street from the hospital. I called him and he's not here so he told me to make myself at home. I sure am grateful for so many kind people in my life!

The lesson I learned from this is that sometimes its important to heed others advice it may be more sound than your own.

First Time For Everything

Thursday evening I joined my drinking club with a running problem in a non-traditional run. One of the members of our group John Byrne is a firefighter who is riding his bike from San Francisco to New York to raise funds to purchase a hands only vehicle for his sister. We did a bike ride in support of his efforts and to raise money for him.

A dear friend of mine graciously donated biking apparel from the company he works for and I was able to present that to John to help him be comfy during his ride.

Another great local company FLUID has joined in support of www.laurensride.org and gave John products and advice how to use them along his 3500+ mile ride.

Friday I did my crossfit workout in the morning where I promised that I will own those pullups one day. Pullups still seem to be my most challenging feat and I refuse to use a band for assistance. Double unders come in a close second.

I then went to my chiropractor appointment where she tried a few new techniques and I felt a lot better as I left.

I wanted to get my bike brakes checked before my scheduled ride in the evening. A friend offered to take a look at my bike for me. I had a great time watching him have fun with my bike he even set my chain on fire. He made my brakes awesome too.

My evening mountain bike ride started out by meeting up with a new friend at the local college and heading to the trail. I have never tried to ascend the trail we started out on I've only descended it and I thought an ascent would leave me hiking my bike the entire way. Surprisingly enough I only had to walk one really long nearly vertical hill at the beginning of the ride. The mid section which happens to be one of my favorite downhill rides gave me a little challenge in a couple sections. I took one graceful fall to my left and hopped right back up. We then continued on a fire road where I walked another hill because my legs felt fatigued. Thats an understatement the sun was in my eyes and my legs hit failure. My only choice was to walk and stretch my legs before jumping back on to sprint to meet up with my friend at the top of the trail. This trail is one I've been wanting to try for a while even though I'm full aware it is most likely highly over my skill level and very far out of my comfort zone. I tell myself I wanted a challenge and I start riding. Oh my goodness the first 3/10 of a mile of the trail was so scary, but somehow I rode it. My friend pauses to ask me how it was and if I was scared. I respond yes as he quickly replies this is your chance to bail out. If there is one thing I've learned about myself it is bailing out makes me unhappy, but following through and conquering a challenge fulfills me. So I keep trying. I walk sections, I fall to the right on the trail into some prickly brush as I struggle to get my left foot out of the pedal. That upset me a little, but I brush myself off and continue. I hit a section of trail that had some technical rocky parts as well as rolling hills and I was having a great time. My friend then tells me most of the hard part is over and I'm relieved, but then more challenging technical trail comes out of nowhere as my friend informs me he didn't remember that part. I get out of the saddle and walk for a while then I jump back on and begin my ride I don't know what caused my next and last fall, but I do know that it's my third one and that saying is false it wasn't charming at all. At this point I realize I did my signature fall which is on my left knee and it hurts and I see my pant leg is saturated so I know I'm bleeding. As I pull up my pant leg I see a gash that spans my knee cap. I start crying, remove my t-shirt, wrap it around my knee and continue the ride. My friend was far ahead he never knew I fell. I take it easy the remainder of the ride. I walk the sections that intimidate me and I make it to the bottom where my friend is waiting. He then tells me he wants to try the eucalyptus park area while it's light because he's always ridden it at night. I tell him I'll take elevator that is the trail name although I wish it could have been the mechanical elevator. The first time I ever rode elevator I absolutely hated it the bridges annoyed me and the berms frustrated me, but now I love it. It's a rolling trail very few rocky parts and just gorgeous. I've learned to love those bridges. Last night was different I was favoring my knee and just knew I was almost done and needed to finish. I alternated between riding and walking and heard rushing water that was so calming. I crossed a bridge to look to my left and saw a beautiful flowing waterfall. That is where that soothing sound was coming from. I met my friend at the bottom and we finished the ride. He rode to his house and I rode back to my car even continuing up the steep hill on the road where I had parked.

As I got to my car I knew three things. I was cold, needed a shirt and needed first aid supplies. I opened my car door to find my mudmashx shirt that I had given to one of the guys in my running group months ago and he had returned to me Thursday at the bike ride. I was so happy to have that shirt.

I drove to the store to pick up gauze, tape and adhesive bandages.

I showered and got warm and toughed out the pain of warm water running over my wound as I was cleaning my knee.

I then set out to assess my injury better. I looked at it and came to the conclusion that if I went to the emergency room they would suggest stitches or just pack it and wrap it. I realize I want packing gauze and not gauze wrap, but I did the best I could with the materials at hand.

I learned a lot yesterday and despite the fall and knee wound I had an incredible time!