Time to Lose Deceit

That lie you tell yourself over and over again until finally you no longer realize it isn't truth. This deceit clouds your judgment, causes insecurities, limits your true potential, burdens friendships, builds trust issues and the list goes on.

There are also lies others tell you that regardless of how far fetched or unkind they are you take them to heart.

I once was told I wasn't skinny or athletic enough. I believe I took it to heart so strongly that I've tried proving it wrong ever since.

I had a random thought just over a week ago and I shared it with a friend. I told her how I know that none of us would tolerate abuse from anyone else so why do we abuse ourselves. We believe our own lies, eat things we know are not conducive to achieving our goals, we make excuses for poor behavior and the abuse continues. I decided it was time I start being kinder to myself and lose the deceit. I like the phrase it starts with a decision. The decision I made was to stop being abusive to myself both physically and emotionally.

Here is where my lie comes into play. I began running about 4 years ago. I've completed a half marathon, numerous mud runs including an extreme mud run. I've done trail runs and set up a three day a week running schedule that I have followed with inconsistencies for 7 months. I've never run a sub ten minute mile so I just let myself believe i was the slow runner.

Thursday night my drinking club with a running problem had an alternative plan that involved very little running. I decided to leave and that I would drive to my favorite trail head and do a time trial. I nearly talked myself out of going, but my car knows that exit means fun and I think the steering wheel turned that direction. I put in my ear phones turned on my running program and began my run. I felt great it was getting dark and the temperature was perfect. I got to my one mile mark and the little voice on the program said,"8 minutes 57 seconds." I paused the program and stopped and thought to myself wow you just did something you didn't think you could. I took a little break to practice pullups on the bar on the trail. I can do those now too only a couple in a row, but I know I'll improve with continued practice. I did some pushup sets and decided to see if I could do a repeat performance of that under 9 minute mile run. I completed the next mile in 9 minutes and 5 seconds. My run yesterday was longer and back to my slower pace, but I'm content.

I'm on day 10 from the time I started my decision. I had one small setback on a bike ride a week ago when I let my feeling of inadequacy get the best of me, but all in all I feel great my weight and health and overall fitness level is improving. I only noticed this because I was able to clean and jerk the prescribed weight of 115 pounds during a crossfit WOD on Friday that was a first for me.

I'm curious to see what heights I will challenge myself to achieve this week!