Time to Prove It

A couple weeks ago my friend I've been adventuring, training with and calling my Spartner in crime let me know he had decided not to do the Southern California Spartan Race. My spirit was dampened and to be completely truthful it made me question if I was going to be okay going back to the area I associated with a lot of hurt that ended 5 years ago almost costing me my life. I needed/wanted his strength and support more than anything else, but on that same token it was more important to me to be understanding and supportive rather than selfish. I started doing everything I could think of to try to change things. Just a few short days before the race my dear friend Corinne who gifted me my first entry found a way to gift my Spartner in crime an entry. I had to make it a surprise so I registered him and told him to check his email. His response was awesome and my smile was back and I felt a complete sense of peace. 

He and I set off on what I called a mini-vacation. We made some fun stops along the way for me to drop off treats to my favorite kid in Santa Barbara and drop off birthday gifts for my dear friend and her daughter in Los Angeles and then enjoy dinner with his dad. His dad was so accommodating and let us stay in the guest rooms at his warm beautiful home.

We got up early and headed to the race venue. I volunteer for the street team so I received close parking so that was the warm up walk to the starting line on Saturday morning. I only had one goal as I prepared for the SoCal Spartan Race Super and Sprint courses. I wanted successful completion of the traverse wall and rope climb obstacles.

My Spartner and I got our race packets and went seperate directions. I climbed the wall to get to the starting line and I joined him there. I knew it would only be a matter of seconds and he would be far ahead of me. I hadn't asked him to wait. He later told me he had questioned if he should stay with me and I told him I was so happy he did what he wanted which was to push himself. I'm strong, stubborn and slow, but those are my strengths.

I went under and over walls and netting and on to single track, water crossings and up a hill and to more walls to go over under and through. Next was monkey bars (sure glad I shaved my hands). I came to the traverse wall and despite the same cramping that occurred the first time I tried that wall at my first race last year I was able to complete it. There was a short sand bag carry, but when I lifted the women's weight it was so light I decided the men's weight would be more fun. There was an atlas carry that I loved because I'd practiced those just days prior. Tire flips were fun. More running up a steep hill and some flat terrain on to a sand/rock bag carry up and over a tiny hill. I came to the Hercules hoist and took a shot at the men's weight and only got it half way up and went to do the women's weight.

There was a log/balance obstacle that would cost me my first 30 burpees. I thought of my Spartner knowing he crushed that obstacle since he was always jumping and balancing on bridge railings when we adventured during training.

There were more steep up/downhills and I came to the tractor pull. This obstacle consists of a cement block attached to a chain that you pull up a hill through soft sand and back down another hill. I know this is meant to break down and fatigue the muscles shortly before the spear throw so I tried to strategize. My strategy went well but I missed the target. 30 more burpees for me weeee. 

On to the rolling mud hills and water/mud pits. Here's where the real challenge began on the last 1/4 mile and 3 obstacles prior to the finish line. I stepped  into the water and my right calf completely cramped and ceased to move. Fear took over, crying and anger joined it for company. I balanced on my left leg and reached for my right foot and pulled as hard as I could and told my leg to work. I could move it again so I started climbing the mud hill. The cramping returned. I would step down hoping to stretch it. I just wanted to get to the rope climb so I struggled through the pain and tears. I ducked under the water under the wall, climbed one last hill and walked to the rope climb. I put my foot on the rope just like I'd practiced and I was faced again with cramping. I took a rest at the bottom of the rope in the water then began the climb. Up, up I went only one pull and leg transition and a knot left and I would hit the bell. My arms gave out and I fell hitting my jaw on a knot as I went feet and face first into the water. I was so bitter I'd failed my goal and my arms failed me again on the wall and rope obstacle following. At this point I said congrats Spartan Race Super course you broke me, but I have a fire to cross to the finish line and I'll be back tomorrow to hang out with your nicer shorter twin the Sprint. I cross the finish and see a familiar face the singing tortoise and he hugs me and asks if I'm okay to which I respond no and he replies asking what he can help me with and I'm at a loss for what to say as I walk away. I didn't know what I needed but I got rinsed off and headed to where I'd stashed my sweet potatoes and chicken tenderloin. I bit into my roasted sweet potato and it hurt to chew. I was annoyed all over again at that darn rope and I promised myself I would use the poor experience to my advantage the following day.

I hadn't set up a place to stay Saturday night so by some struck of luck my Spartner found a room in a casino hotel with two beds and the jacuzzi right out the window because why would we use the door when the window is the direct route. 

Sunday morning I was scheduled to volunteer with street team and set up the items I had organized and put away Saturday night. My Spartner didn't hesitate at all he jumped in and helped even while I was out on course.

I had a mission on Sunday it was to take it easy, avoid cramping, preserve my energy for the last mile and complete the rope climb. My Spartner and I took photos in front of the spartan race banner prior to running and I later found out they used it for marketing. I

started out right on the pace I wanted and I came to the area where a choice needed to be made. Do I take the harder shorter left as I'd done previously and be stuck walking the single track behind the line of runners or do I go right easier longer. I choose right because I wanted a change of scenery and to be alone. I finished that, climbed a hill did the same obstacles as the day before minus the sand bag carry it wasn't on the course and continued on. I got to the logs and decided to take my Spartners advice I went quick jumping from log to log. Success no burpees as I yelled, heck yes I failed that yesterday." A runner heard me and said dang you did this yesterday? I wasn't about to tell him the course I did the day before was double the distance.

I continued on hitting my mark of at least 3 miles in under an hour. Those that have never done OCR are thinking why did it take 20 minutes to go just one mile. I don't know I ask myself that same question all the time. I will get faster I promise. I arrived at the tractor pull again to it back logged just like the previous day. I was given the option to burpee out, but I decided I wouldn't care about my time anymore. I was set to finish in 1.5 hours had I not had to wait. I missed my spear knocked out 30 burpees and put a huge smile on my face. I was about to face the rolling mud where I had cramped on Saturday. I was on the third hill and I saw a familiar face. Tony from the pro team who I'd met at a beach workout previously and talked to in Vermont and Malibu. He snapped a photo and I continued on excited to get to the rope climb. I went under the wall in the water, jumped out and ran to the rope. I was at the bottom of the rope coaching myself as to what I would do differently. I reminded myself to envision the success of the first time I climbed the rope at CrossFit Nipomo. I also remembered my friend Corinne had told me to just have fun and climb that rope. I did it, I hit the bell. I worked my way back down and I ran to jump the fire and cross the finish line. 

I've been participating in a tracking challenge this month of completing 100k to earn the privilege of getting a shirt that says Prove It. I often say the only thing you have to prove anything to is yourself. I needed to prove that I had become stronger, happier and healthier as a result of the struggle I faced in that area 5 years prior. I also wanted to prove I could turn the previous days failure into success.

What are you ready to prove to yourself?

Time to Replenish

Last Friday I donated blood because I wanted to be a part of a special goal of 100 gifts of blood life January. 

Saturday I met up with a teammate I'd met at the last Spartan Race I participated in. I wanted to show Joe aka the singing tortoise the neat caves, rope and traverse sea wall. I had such a great time he is literally one of the most positive loving men I've met. When I got back to my car I had a tingly sensation in my hands and tongue and I just shrugged it off as dehydration and red blood cell loss. This feeling came and went along with a headache throughout the course of the weekend. It made me nervous, but kind of frustrated also because usually I feel great after blood donation. In the past I've worked out or ran the very next day. I was also worried how it may affect the upcoming races in just a few days. I made myself rest throughout the weekend and hydrate.

Many people know of my desire to be a ten gallon blood donor before my 40th birthday. I was right on schedule to achieve that goal even with the one year deferral in 2007 from getting a tattoo.

Right on schedule until today. I think I'm at 7 gallons so far on the local blood bank record though I'm right at 50 pints. I received a letter in the mail stating that because my hemoglobin level was on the low end of the donating scale that an additional test was run and I tested low on ferritin an essential protein used in helping build iron in the blood. I got put on a 24 week deferral even though plasma and platelet donation are still acceptable.

I learned I've been far more focused on training with iron rather than supplementing my body with iron nutrition. I put myself on an iron supplement and you may see me carrying around peppers, sweet potatoes and steak, but I will use this valuable lesson to remember to take time to replenish.

Time to be Charitable

Two weeks after I earned my first dnf at an event I was offered a complimentary entry into an off-road triathlon. I've said numerous times I don't want to do triathlons, but my friend wanted me to join her and the cost was only the administrative fee. I was one of the few participants who chose not to use a wetsuit. The water was the perfect temperature, the morning was beautiful and I was the last swimmer out of the water, but that didn't matter I only had something to prove to myself and it was that I would prevail over that DNF. I made up for some lost time on the mtn bike portion and finished the run with some walking limping jogging intervals and had a great time and earned a cool metal. 

A couple weeks later I decided I would be a pacer for a friend on a weight loss and running journey to better health. My spartan race training partner and I arrived at the midnight 5k run in Avila the third weekend in October it was a fun run to benefit Special Olympics. We joined my friend to offer pacing support. She was doing great and had planned walking intervals, but just before the half mile mark I asked how she was feeling and she said great and I asked her to make a goal to maintain that pace to the finish line. Not only did she achieve that goal, but shaved five minutes off her previous time.

The following weekend I participated in the 4th annual mudmash. I had a great time although I missed some course markings and had to backtrack to complete the waterslide and the rings obstacle I was unsuccessful on.

I participated in a 5k color run with my spartan race training partner. I had a goal to finish in under 30 minutes and to complete negative mile splits. I was only 38 seconds shy of my goal and I ran negatives with the straight away to the finish line at an 8 minute mile pace. That was a great event also benefitting Special Olympics.

On Veteran's Day I did an 8 mile run to benefit Operation Surf. I had a goal to PR on this course. Shortly before mile 4 a triple amputee runner fell on the road in front of me. My PR goal was no longer a priority and making sure he was not hurt mattered more than a PR. He got up on his own despite his left prosthetic having been rotated during the fall he made some adjustments and kept on running. I sped up on the downhills and ran some negative splits and I was content with my finish.

Thanksgiving morning I drove an hour North to pick up a guy named Ben who I hadn't met previously but learned he had just committed along with a group of friends to running a spartan race in January. I then drove 45 minutes south to pismo beach where we participated in the turkey trot benefitting the food bank. Ben did awesome and finished the 10k. I ran a much slower 5k than anticipated, but I had fun.

Well I'm not always running. Sometimes I stop and rest and learn of a need for quilts for Children's Hospital Los Angeles Oncology Christmas party. I made a goal to provide two quilts. One for a girl and one for a boy. I purchased the fabric and finished the girl one. I waited for a fabric sale and finished purchasing the material for the boy quilt. I wanted to complete them both on my extended holiday weekend time off work, but I may be a little shy of that goal, but I'm happy to use my hobby to be charitable.

Today I spent all morning and afternoon with my best friend and favorite mountain biking partner. It is amazing to have someone who truly values my friendship and expresses that and seems to know just how to encourage me and can even laugh at me carrying my bike down a section of trail I was intimidated by.  He isn't afraid to ask me to believe in myself and to say he wished I was less intimidated by difficult sections of the downhill technical parts of trail.  It's also amazing to ride back to the trailhead and be handed an apple that I'd never tried. That's not all though the last time I adventured out on a ride with him it started with him making me fresh wheatgrass juice he grows himself. I guess I kind of like when the charity is given to me.

I always have loved the saying,"focus on giving rather than getting and you will receive more than you ever gave."

Opportunity of a Lifetime

Wednesday the 18th I celebrated my 36th birthday with a beach run followed by burpees on the sidewalk with friends.

Thursday afternoon I went to Mountain Air Sports to find something to provide warmth for the upcoming race I was traveling to participate in.

Friday morning I arrived in Burlington, Vermont where I was met at the airport by my friend Corinne. She was a large reason I made the choice to take on this race. I waited in the car as I encouraged her to go check to see if the airline had her lost piece of luggage. Much to her excitement she was reunited with her shorty shorts and salomons. We then traveled a less than 2 hour drive to a little lodge in Killington, Vermont. I think it was at this point we each decided a nap was completely mandatory.

Later Friday afternoon we traveled to a press conference and dinner. I met some great athletes all so inspiring and kind and some just ridiculously attractive. I met a young man named Iram who is a brain cancer survivor and he became our roommate for the weekend. He was so funny and positive his great attitude was contagious and I enjoyed having him around.

Saturday morning I went to the race venue and volunteered to help with the volunteers. That afternoon I watched as top athletes crossed the finish line every one of them in agreement the race course was their most challenging physical athletic accomplishment. I watched as others talked about not finishing because of cramping or hypothermia and I watched the weather pattern. I was determined not to be discouraged by any of the elements that could be a factor in what I was about to take on the following day.

Saturday evening I packed my hydration pack along with my long sleeve cotton dry wick shirt complete with thumb holes. This is the only time I deviated from the general rule of thumb of nothing new for race day. I also had my clif bar nutrition and fluid performance for electrolytes. Corinne and I were given a small map of directions that said where to take our drop box along with simple instructions that said,"figure it out." This is where I thought geez at least give us a map with coordinates and make me figure that out. We talked to a security guard who told us where to go, however when we followed his instructions we thought we had gone too far, thus we turned around only to learn 5 minutes later we only needed to go a mile farther. This should have been the first indication of what Sunday's race was going to entail.

Sunday morning Corinne drove me to the venue. She had completed the beast distance 14 mile course on Saturday with a pre-existing hamstring injury and decided at the last minute not to do the ultra beast marathon distance course.

I began to make my way to the starting line as I looked back at Corinne she said something I didn't understand and waved. My eyes started to tear up because I knew how much she wanted to be at the starting line with me. I had to walk fast, be tough and wipe the tears away. Each of the racers climbed a wall to the starting line. At 6:00 am I began the world championship spartan race ultra beast course. I was nearly the slowest right off the starting line. I was determined to find a slow pace and stay there. The first obstacles were over, under, through walls and I loved them. The course continued up a hill to barbwire to crawl or roll under. There were hills and more hills to go up I began to wonder if this mountain had a downhill. My question was answered with the next obstacle of a downhill/uphill tire drag. That was followed by a downhill section of mud, roots, rocks and trees. I hear a voice behind me say, "hey Jen, Corinne is behind us." I realized queen of green Andi Hardy was talking to me and I thought she can call me any name she likes she's pretty awesome. I watched her crawl, scoot, roll and have the Barbwire obstacle for breakfast on Saturdays course. Corinne yells to me and my competitive drive sets in. Only this terrain is downhill, completely saturated from the previous nights rain and I know I have to exercise caution. I follow the same pattern I did at the first Spartan Race I completed a month ago. I do not follow the pack to the left and scoot on my butt, yet I look to the right and read terrain line and exercise caution and maybe too much. I can see this section is costing me valuable time as I know there are checkpoints and cutoff times on the course. Corinne goes cruising by as Andi does some crazy sideways skid laying on this downhill section. I'm led to believe these elites do the practice for these sections in their sleep.

The course then travels uphill winding through all the trees of this gorgeous mountain at the top of this section we are given a memorization task. Take the last two digits of your bib number then read the word and numbers on the chart accordingly and memorize them. I love numbers and memory so this is my favorite obstacle thus far. I'm given Delta 730-2007. I get to run again finally after all the climbing and I'm looking forward to the sandbag carry. I arrive at the sandbag carry which I learn is around 60 pounds and it feels pretty light as I throw it over my shoulder and begin my ascent up the hill. The terrain is grassy, muddy and wet. This makes for watching my footing and every step count. I slip once or twice drop the sandbag pick it up and keep going. I have my garmin going to time myself on this obstacle as it was the major topic of discussion for the shorter course the day prior. I'd later learn I set a STRAVA course record for that carry. I look up and Corinne is on the downhill part and I realize I want to be faster. I am at the turn around point of the sandbag obstacle for the open heat when I'm told the elite heat goes to the top. Okay cool to the top I go another 3/10 of a mile up this mountain. It's something to look forward to because as soon as that's over I can engage my quads I worked on strengthening by being the back squat junkie. A short period later an athlete named Elliott passes me and I know he's the first place competitor for the beast course wave that began at 8:00. I cheer him on and tell him he's got the lead and to keep it! I finish the sandbag carry and stop tracking myself on my garmin so I don't waste the battery and not know the time. I realize at this point I'm obsessing about those cutoff times. 

I do more climbing, hiking, running if it can be called that and come to a lovely balance obstacle where I earn my first set of burpees. I don't mind them I actually love burpees they remind me that I'm lucky so lucky that my body moves from standing to plank to knees tucked up to feet on the ground and I can jump and clap. 

Shortly after this I meet a guy named Eric he and I run and walk together for the next couple miles until I realize this easy grassy terrain is my chance to do a timed mile and make up for lost minutes from all of the climbing. I feel bad, but I have to leave him. I am here for myself and I want to complete this course.

There's another barbwire obstacle and more walls and I'm excited walls that used to be a struggle are fun now. The rope climb earned me my next set of burpees.

I arrive at the spear throw and earn some more burpees, but that's okay because here's where some strategy comes into play. The next obstacle is an open water swim from side to side of a pond. Burpees generate body heat and I'll want that when I hit the water. My IT band had also been a nuisance so cold water therapy will soothe that. I jump in the pond and say wow this is awesome it's nearly the same temperature as Lake Lopez where I did some training. I submerge my torso and arms and think no, no this is definitely colder than Lopez. I know I just need to keep that frog kick arm moving going all the way to the shore. I refuse to use the floating balls and rope for assistance. I know my stubbornness has played an essential roll this entire time.

I get out of the water and am looking forward to running to my drop box, but I'm stopped dead in my tracks. I get told to go flip a log in gravel the distance of the flag markers and back. I like this obstacle too. It's like the tire flip, but it's half a tree. I'm soaking wet, not cold and flipping a log at a ski resort with amazing scenery and positive people surrounding me. I run over to get to my drop box and I'm told I have two options take a penalty and go to my box or return in 6 miles. I take the penalty as I've used all my fluid its just after 2:00 pm and I know the weather changes around 3:10 from my observation of the previous day. I transfer out of my wet fleece to my dry thumb hole zip up. I kept my wet FLUID t-shirt on under it. I climbed a wall and continued on course strait up another hill. I'm trying to make 3 miles to the 3:00 pm course cutoff. I was nervous and thinking of everything I could tell the volunteers or course marshalls to let me continue in case I'm late. I arrive at 3:02 pm am told the cutoff time was extended and I'm allowed to continue with an elastic band around my ankles bunny hopping up and down flights of stairs and over posts on a bridge. It's like box jumps meets Peter Rabbit or the hobie hop as some refer to it.

On to the next obstacle they call commando chain bars. These are not anything like the monkey bars in the last Spartan Race or the set at Laguna Middle Scool I trained on. These are gorilla bars. Large rusty pipes too high for me to reach with a chain attached. I attempt twice to pull myself up with the chain and grab the bar. No luck burpees it is where I'm completely annoyed and may have cursed Norm the race director/course designer...sorry Norm. On to a 12 ft wall that I wish was more challenging to climb or an invert wall. 

Somewhere I get to climb a cargo net and I'm hanging at the top and the female volunteer says to me,"I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you have amazing legs." All I can reply is thank you as I'm willing said legs to propel me over to the other side. 

It's back to up and down more hills back to the pond where I get to carry a log and roll it and me under barb wire. I finish getting down the hill with the log and the course Marshall tells me I have 15 minutes before his cutoff so he wants me to continue, but the next aid station is 4 miles away and I need to show him my headlamp. I pull it out of my pack quickly and I take off uphill where I say didn't I just do this. The Marshall laughs and said he said the same thing during the week on course build and he encourages me to catch up to the two individuals ahead of me. His kindness toward my success and well-being instilled a new energy and I keep plugging away and I catch up to a young lady named Lisa. Her IT band is hurting her and I tell her mine is too, but at my knee not my hip, but I encourage her to stay with me. We reach the top then come to a section that has slippery bridges the one is curved and reminds me of the eucs bridge that I hiked on just two weeks previously at home. Lisa tells me it's snowing. I disagree and tell her it's precipitation not real snow and we continue on through these trees and up more hills. I ask her about the other young man she had been with as we see a light up ahead that isn't moving. She said she didn't know him. We reach the young man. His name is Sean he's wearing at short sleeve shirt and shorts and says he is freezing. Lisa had a emergency solar blanket in her pack, but it served useless. I shine my light on the green flagging marking trail and I'm thankful for my 3 years of "hashing" experience searching for true trail. We arrived to the next obstacle and two volunteers. I asked the volunteer to radio the race director as I felt Sean needed immediate medical aid and warmth. It was at this point my time on the race course ended. I was willing to continue, but I knew I'd hit the nhttp://share.spartanrace.com/x/m8JgA6ext obstacle after the last cut-off time and I'd be alone on the mountain until I reached it. The volunteers and two other runners were being picked up and I wasn't asked if I wanted to go on it was just assumed I wanted a ride back to the festival area so I held my head up high and I went. The ride in the truck was an adventure. The driver Chris was incredibly chivalrous and patient and a great 4 wheelin truck driver. The girl in front of me questioned how I just came off the course and still had energy and was positive. In my mind I'd been telling myself this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, meaning I was only going to do this once, but the truth of the matter is that course didn't defeat me my spirits are still high I had an excellent time. The area was completely unlike anything I have ever experienced. I've already developed a game plan to go back and try it all over again because I didn't like earning my very first DNF.

I got off the plane on my flight home and my legs protested the stairs, but I went to lunch and donated blood because I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than sharing life with someone in need.

Devote Time to Make a Dream Reality

One week after I finished the Spartan Race Beast course in Monterey I was wanting to find a way to go Vermont to the world championship Spartan Race. At this point it was only a thought not a dream nor a goal.

I talked to my friend who is a sponsored athlete and she mentioned fund raising. I decided it was finally time to have the courage to share my survival story I experienced almost 5 years ago.

Here is what followed. I created a fund raising site added my story to it and created a dollar amount goal. All I wanted was to afford my flight, shoes and hydration pack. 

Here is the story posted on the site.

5 years ago I had a defining moment in my life. I experienced heartbreak for the first time in my life. I threw in the towel and said I didn't want to go on living. All the comforts I knew, the job I had and the roof over my head were taken away in the blink of an eye. I stopped eating, sleeping became a chore and the routine I once knew was non-existent. 4 weeks later and 30 pounds missing from my frame I decided I didn't want that 30 pounds to ever return. I decided to start running. I used a guideline found on a website and I did the couch to 5k program. I ran my first 5k in April 2009 in 32:32 and I was happy. Later that year I would run my first half marathon in 2:36:52. I've run mudmash in San Luis Obispo since it's beginning in 2010 when I helped build my first 12' obstacle wall. In April 2013 I ran my first marathon after learning I had 26.2 days to train for it. Much to my dismay I had to start doing walking/running intervals post mile 16. I've always had a goal to do a 10k in under an hour. In July I did a beach memorial run and much to my surprise I was only 1 min 22 seconds off my goal. August 10th 2013 I completed my first Spartan race. It was the Spartan Beast Monterey which is a hilly 12.6 mile challenging course. It was an emotional race for me. I wanted to give something back so I chose to be a course sweeper with a friend of mine. This meant I would be walking/running the course I had just completed. My friend and I would be supporting the last runner and picking up the trash left on the course. Walking with the last runner learning of his reason for being there was truly touching. Attending this event put a new drive in me. I'm celebrating my 36th birthday September 18th this year and I decided as my gift to myself I want to go take the opportunity to compete at the Spartan Race World Championship. I want to raise funds to help send me there, but I also want to donate any amount that is over my goal to the Didi Hirsch Mental Health Organization. 

I won't be able to participate in the 15th annual alive and running 5k walk/run for suicide prevention as it is the same day this year as the Spartan Race, but this is my way of proving to myself that life is valuable, it is to be celebrated and I am thankful mine was so blessed to take on a new leaf despite the challenges I faced and choices I made those number of years ago.

The day I shared this page my friend donated $22.00 to get me started as that was my daily goal. Her friend donated a dollar for each year of birth I'm celebrating. Many dear friends and loved ones contributed generously and in 3 short days I was 77% of the way to my goal. I scheduled my flight, ordered my shoes and started searching for hydration packs. It has all happened so quickly and I've had to make time in my schedule for my full-time management job, obstacle race training, friends, family phone calls, the running group I am partially in charge of, contacting fluid and clif for sponsorship, hotshots 19 memorial WOD to honor the Arizona fallen firefighters, running a hydration, nutrition, endurance trail run of over 12 miles and mountain biking with my biggest supporter and best friend who is by far more than I could ever ask for in a person. He is a coach, a friend and most importantly a teacher who encourages me to build confidence and believe in myself each and every time we ride together. I'm certain it's mental and physical cross-training.

In less than 3 weeks I will be participating in the adventure and feat of my life and I am so excited and also so incredibly thankful for so much love and support surrounding me. People are AWESOME!

Time to get muddy

A blog post I wrote in January I spoke about talking to a girl I was very inspired by. She continued to inspire me passing me at mile 18 of my first marathon in April. Fast forward a couple months and I receive a message from her asking me if I'd like a complimentary entry into a Spartan Race in Monterey on August 10th. Of course I say yes as I have no idea what this entails. I later learn its a half marathon distance mud run with obstacles. I did a ten mile course over a year ago so I felt prepared. I continued my fitness schedule I've had in place for a number of months and one week prior to the race on August 10th I went with a friend on a hill run and learned to use ropes to rappel down a rock face. I'd later learn on a section of the course that this run and lesson I received would prove very valuable.

The day of the race I was awake at 3:30 am to prepare my hydration pack and needed supplies. I picked up my friend and off we went. We arrived at the parking lot of our destination 2 hours later then had to catch a shuttle to the event site. My friend had a earlier start time so she left an hour ahead of me.

The first obstacle I came to were some dirt mounds to climb followed by mud pits filled with water. After that obstacle I'd face steep uphill climbs a short downhill then get to the wall climbs. Wall climbs have always been difficult for me in previous short distance mud runs I've completed. I was happy I didn't struggle. I climbed over the walls and I looked forward to having a burpee free race. It was then on to a series of box jumps on wooden bleachers those were fun. I came to the monkey bars and was told if I fell off it was burpees. Now I love burpees, but I really wanted to cross those monkey bars. Trust me they were way easier as a child! The muddy barbwire crawl complete with getting drenched by the fire hose was a great time. The most difficult obstacle for most of the athletes was filling the 5 gallon bucket with sand and gravel and carrying it up a hill and back down. I figured out a technique that worked well for me. There were tire pulls, sand bag carries, cinder block drags, more barb wire crawls and my favorite obstacle was the the invert wall. My least favorite obstacle was the suspended cargo net. My left leg experienced cramping and I was scared to cross it. I took it slow and steady and made it across. I failed the rope climb, traverse wall and spear throw so alas I didn't have a burpee free run, but I did have a terrific time.

I crossed the finished line and my friend and obstacle course specialist found me and we set off to sweep the course.

We caught up to the last runner on the course. He was nauseous and proceeded to vomit, but was determined to carry on. My friend and I would learn he was there with his father and 4 sisters in honor of their mother who had battled breast cancer that had since metastasized to her bones. This struck close to home as I lost the woman who was a second grandma to me just over a year ago. This young man wasn't able to finish not for lack of tenacity, mental ability or drive, but simply physically and medically  it wasn't advised.

My friend and I continued on the course picking up trash, taking down course markings and I was excited to pull the men's weight tire and do the invert wall a second time.

This event sparked a drive and desire in me that I've never experienced before. I learned there is a world championship event in Vermont in just 6 weeks from the time this event I participated in took place. I'm simply amazed at the amazing turn my life has taken in only 3 short months.

A time I'm unable to find the positive

Rewind back 17 years I had a horrible skin rash on my neck and legs it was Christmas time and I was in Utah visiting my family.

My mom took me to a dermatologist who said he thought I had a rarely diagnosed skin disease. He asked permission to do a biopsy I said if it helps figure out treatment go ahead.

Two weeks later I was told I had dariers disease and there wasn't any given treatment for it. It's something I was born with that went misdiagnosed for a number of years because I didn't exhibit its typical symptoms. It's an autoimmune disorder and genetically passed from mother to child. My mother does not have it nor its symptoms, but the active gene was passed on to me.

Here's where tests began. Steroid creams, cortisone shots, accutane which places it in longer term remission, but the side effects are horrible, required two negative pregnancy tests and birth control. The side effects of birth control lead to an ER visit with all the symptoms of a mini stroke. That lead to a choice to have an endometrial ablation which is a sterilizing procedure and the doctor asks if I'm certain I'm okay with not having children and he's shocked with my calm demeanor and my fear of the 50% chance of passing the skin disease onto a child. The ablation wasn't completely successful, but I learned a lot from the surgery. As if that wasn't challenging enough I also had to make a choice to have bilateral breast augmentation because of the lesions not healing.

I've learned to live with it and be tolerant of people who ask about it out of curiosity. Some times I'm more sensitive about it than others. The last time I went to donate blood I had a small flare and the rn commented on it. I was so incredibly uncomfortable after that and I've had a spot on my left arm that has been flaring and healing for over two months now. It's an incredible source of frustration and even more so because I want to donate blood but won't because I need it to heal. I've left two messages for a dermatologist here that a dear friend speaks very highly of, but it's upsetting to me that they want me to schedule a visit before I even have a chance to ask thow much they know about the disease itself or its treatment. The last dermatologist I asked about his knowledge of it went straight to offering the next worse alternative to accutane.

The hardest part for me is when my activity level increases or I get hot it often triggers a flare and it gets hot and itchy. The trigger points are usually the neck, upper back, ears, torso.

Tonight I got to play ultimate frisbee glow in the dark style which was great, but my skin decided to have an attitude problem.

I'm laying in bed typing this hoping the Benadryl decreasing the swelling and the zinc cream soothes the pain.

I think the largest lesson I've learned from this is that it isn't who I am, but it's what I have and it's a challenge I've been given to cope with. Today I'm not coping with it as well as I'd like!!!