I was blessed to have a special lunch today with the daughter of my client who passed away one month ago. She paid me an incredible compliment and I was able to receive it graciously. There was a time I was great at accepting compliments and even another time I dated a young man I felt I had to coach to accept compliments by saying thank you. Through facing some very difficult life experiences I've developed some pretty intense insecurities that I have been fighting to overcome. Some may argue I need therapy and perhaps I do, but my reality is that I just need to give myself time and build more self confidence. Today as I accepted the compliment I was paid, I allowed myself to step back and be happy that I'm starting to show improvment. This is a very big step for me. Most of the time if I accept a compliment I will discredit the individual expressing it not necessarily to their face, but I will question the sincerity.
A number of months ago I was watching The Today Show and the hosts were discussing the ways women shrug off a compliment and I had to laugh because I could very much relate.
On the other hand I feel that I search for ways to pay compliments to others and I will not do it unless it is indeed sincere. If I tell you that you look great today it's because I really think it or if I know that you've been training your hiney off and I see your results I will tell you so. Or perhaps I tell you that just you being yourself is enough and I expect nothing of you. That is my way of saying,"you are awesome and please don't change a thing!" My only expectation is that you help me along in my journey and just as I am striving and learning to accept compliments I hope that you will pay them to others and as they are delivered back to you that you will graciously accept them.
1 comment:
Oh and remember that your last paragraph is probably true of most people. I hope and think very few go around offering false praise.
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